Well, it has taken me quite a while to get to this, I know. If you only knew the pace at which my life is moving right now, your head would be spinning right along with mine. I feel like with God's grace and Paul's help I've been holding it together. So, let's go back to the day after we became engaged. Wow! That was a ways back, wasn't it? That day we decide that we should tell the kids before someone else did. We were so happy to tell them, knowing they would be thrilled, but also nervous at the same time. All this is becoming a reality. And as you have probably experienced...reality is often different than what you envision in your head.
So, as soon as Paul got to our house that night, we sat the kids down to tell them. Paul and I both were so nervous, I can't even tell you. I kept ringing my hands and Paul and I kept looking at each other. B was looking at us like...oh no! What are you about to tell us? He looked nervous. So I said, "Guys, we have wonderful news."
pause
"Last night Mr. Lewis asked me to be his wife, and I said yes."
another pause
We waited and watched their little faces. Cait looked completely confused like..."what did you just say?"
But B...he had eyes FULL of tears! Paul kind of freaked out. He was rubbing B's leg and asking, "Are you okay, buddy? What is it? Are you upset? Worried? Sad?"
B looked up at us through tears and said, "No. I'm just sooooo happy. I just can't believe that God answered my prayers. He really answered my prayers."
Paul and I looked at each other and just started bawling. Oh, the relief! Oh, the joy! Can I tell you? It is a soaring feeling to know that God was the designer of this new little family. He put us together because we all needed one another. What a good God we serve!
So, from the couch we moved to the table where dinner was ready. We all held hands to pray and I said, "We sure do have a lot to be thankful for tonight, don't we?" Everyone nodded. Then B said, "Can I pray!!! Please, please!?!" We agreed, of course.
And he prayed..."Dear God, thank you for hearing me. Thank you answering my prayer and letting mommy get married again. Thank you for giving me a daddy to live with me and play with me everyday. Please help us to be a happy family and to love one another. Please help us to have fun together too. I just can't believe that you heard me. Thank you God. Amen."
Talk about tears? Paul and I just sat with tears rolling down our faces (yes, I have a very tender-hearted man), squeezing each other's hands. We were thankful too. We were in awe too. Cait was a little oblivious, but that's okay. I hope she never remembers a time when Paul was not there as part of us. B, I know he'll always remember, but that's okay. He was supposed to. God is growing him. God is showing him even at age six that He is a faithful God and that He answers prayers.
My parents started praying right after my divorce that God would allow me to marry again one day and that it would be soon. They prayed this for Benjamin and Cait's sake. I'm so grateful that they did, because I know that this is the best thing for them as well as for their mommy.
Thank you to those of you who have prayed and prayed for us...for years now. God heard and He answered. Thank you, Lord!