Well, the Lord has been showing me some things over the last few weeks. I remember asking my pastor and his wife about forgiving the people who had wronged me almost immediately after I learned of the offense. He told me that it would come in time. I had to somewhat put it on the back burner for the time being so that I could process and heal a little. I knew I wanted to forgive them, but I didn't know when that would fully happen. I don't know a lot of things, but I do know that it would be only by the grace of God that I could forgive the people that offended me in the way that they did. I know that I don't have it in me, for certain!
Yesterday Benjamin and Cait had a little crash. Ya know, the kind where they are playing happily and bodies crash into each other. No one was being malicious, but someone did get hurt. I heard the cry come from Cait and then an immediate, "I'm sorry Cait, it was an accident!" come from Benjamin. She was wailing. B continued by saying, "Would you forgive me?" Cait continued to wail. I intervened and told her that she needed to forgive her brother. Her reply struck me as so profound. She said, "Mommy, I can't forgive him yet because it still hurts!"
Wow. I wondered to myself if I was having the same thinking pattern. It still hurts. It does. The offense toward me is the greatest I've ever known and the greatest I hope to ever experience. It was the ultimate betrayal and disappointment of my life. It STILL hurts and may always hurt to some degree because the repercussions of it will last for the rest of our lives. But I know that it is time. It is time to begin to forgive. The difference between Benjamin toward Cait and my offenders, is that no one is asking me to forgive them. I just know that I need to forgive because it is what God would have me do AND it will serve me and my children best if I harbor no bitterness and anger towards others.
Trust me when I say that I know this will be a process. It will not happen over night. This will be a road of 1) deciding to forgive, 2) deciding again and again when the thoughts and feelings arise to forgive, and 3) praying for those who have offended me.
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." Romans 12:14
"But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you , and pray for those who spitefully use you. Luke 6:27-28
If you have any other verses or encouragement for me in this area....I would really appreciate it!
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I am a sinner, saved by grace. I am a child of God completely dependent on Him. I am learning to rely on Him soley...not on a husband or a friend or a paycheck, but Him alone. Only He can give me strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. To God be the glory!
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4 comments:
Hi Tamra,
I love your blog so much!! It has always been an extreme encouragement to me. In fact, I used to read your HelpMateFirst blog - before the incident. I'm so sorry for you.
I used to attend church with your sister Danyel, and came to know of your blog through her over a year ago. Since then, I've come to appreciate you as a sister - and you are - My Sister in Christ!!
Anyway, I wanted to write this morning to tell you that the idea of forgiveness is close to my heart ... as it should be to us all, because unforgiveness separates us from God.
Here's Matthew 6:15 - "But, if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins"
I've always taken that so close to heart because I never, ever, ever want to be apart from God. I believe that you are the same.
I pray that this road of healing will bring you much relief ... and your kiddos too. I am a divorced mom too, although remarried to a wonderful Godly man. I'll be praying for God to raise up just such a person in your life too.
My love to you, My Sista!
Monica
I know how hard it is for you to forgive. It is hard for me too, just because you are my sister and I love you.
Here is a verse that I found. It is when Paul is writing to the believers in Ephesus about being Children of Light.
Eph. 4:32
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as IN CHRIST God forgave you".
So, like you said, it really is only through Christ that we can ever forgive. But paise God that He will help you to do that one day. I will continue to pray that He will soon.
I love you!
Danyel
What amazing insight children have into things.
The road you are walking is one I have never been down. I think your heart is beautiful and mature.
What you are attempting to forgive right now would be one of the hardest things in the world for me to ever let go of. I see in you a heart so much like my own. I desperately want to be that Proverbs 31 woman. I want you to know that I really believe that is what you are becoming.
I hate watching you walk through this. I have cried for you and prayed for you and been livid for you. Yet I am all the more amazed to watch you open your hands to God. You are letting the pain do something beautiful in you.
I thought this scripture was really interesting. I think it is so fascinating that Jesus ties forgiveness and faith very firmly together. I never really thought about it that way.
Teachings about Forgiveness and Faith
One day Jesus said to his disciples, "There will always be temptations to sin, but how terrible it will be for the person who does the tempting. 2 It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck than to face the punishment in store for harming one of these little ones. 3 I am warning you! If another believer [fn1] sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him."
5 One day the apostles said to the Lord, "We need more faith; tell us how to get it."
6 "Even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed," the Lord answered, "you could say to this mulberry tree, `May God uproot you and throw you into the sea,' and it would obey you!
7 "When a servant comes in from plowing or taking care of sheep, he doesn't just sit down and eat. 8 He must first prepare his master's meal and serve him his supper before eating his own. 9 And the servant is not even thanked, because he is merely doing what he is supposed to do. 10 In the same way, when you obey me you should say, `We are not worthy of praise. We are servants who have simply done our duty.' "
I am no preacher but this means a lot to me. It seems like Jesus is saying, "Look, there are going to be people who come and tear innocent people's lives apart by tempting them to go the wrong way. Trust me that I will take care of that. They will wish they had drowned rather than face their future. You tell them honestly about that sin. If they repent then you forgive. YOU get to let that go and have faith in ME. It's not a choice. As my servant it's your job."
That's just my thoughts. I might be totally off. Anyway, it's food for thought.
I love this quote. I thought of you.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.—Unknown
I truly believe that God wants us to forgive so that WE can be free. We can't be caught up in sin- even someone else's sin.
That is why I want you to be able to forgive. As long as you don't that sin is holding you prisoner. It is a steel link between you and that person. I want you to be free of it forever.
If I were in your shoes I don't know how I would do it. I am praying that you will have the faith to let God take the hurt and set you free.
Hugs, Angel
PS Sorry for the book.
Just wanted to say hey and that I still read your blog hehe. This one really got me thinking too...
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