Music has always had a huge effect on me. I am a crier when it comes to singing in a worship service. I am always more moved by a dramatic monologue or movie scene presented with some background music. I can hear a song on the radio and it can make me soar with feelings of joy... or plummet down into the depths of despair.
Well, over the last 24 hours I have had some extremely eye-opening experiences with music.
- Yesterday I bought the new Michael Bouble CD at Walmart. I never buy CD's. But, he's one guy that I really like to listen to. He's reminiscent of the old crooners from Frank's day and even before. I thought, "How fun! A new CD!" so I got it. Only problem...when I got it home and listened to it, there was a song on it called "Me and Mrs. Jones." I could tell by the title that I probably wasn't going to like it. I was right. It was a sympathetic song about a young man and a married woman who secretly met everyday and fell more and more in love..."holding hands across the table." I just got so sick to my stomach thinking, "Who thinks this is okay? Who...even a non-Christian would sing a song glorifying such a relationship?" I don't get it!!! I really don't. I have ZERO tolerance for such things.
- Next, and definitely not a better experience...today I was walking around in a store. A song came over the speaker. It was a song I used to love. However, it was ruined for me in the most horrible way I could ever fathom. I haven't heard that song in the last 9 months...not one time. But I did today. And I had this sudden moment of panic. I literally almost ran out of the store, but I knew I had to purchase the items in my cart and quickly go on with my day. I couldn't do it. I couldn't hear that song. It was like I ...I don't even know what it was like. I just know it was terrible. I literally plugged my ears with my fingers and started humming as loud as I could get away with in public. I kind of nudged my cart along, humming and rubbing my ears as if they itched...so no one would think I was insane. Terrible experience to realize that you are still so easily effected by certain memories. And I guess for me, when music is involved, it's all the more powerful.
- Then, on the way home I was listening to the radio. I heard a song that I had never heard before. It was a man singing to a woman and he was telling her all the things he wanted to do to show her he loved her and wanted to make a life with her. He was saying (can't remember exactly how it went but...) that he wanted to honor her mom and learn from her dad and love her like no one else could love her...etc, etc. And then I was soaring again. I was thinking...maybe there is someone out there that will love me like this one day. Maybe all the pain and and the hurt is part of the "broken road that (leads) me straight to (him)". I thought that it was about time for some musical encouragement today!
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1 comment:
Oh, my dear friend- I love you so much! I know what you mean about music having so much power. I hope that you can fill your mind and heart with new songs with new memories! And, no, I don't want a brand new Michael Bouble CD.
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