Overall Update

So many things have happened this week. If someone asked me how I was doing today I wouldn't know quite how to answer them.

• My sister cam home from the hospital Thursday night. She is doing well. Feeling better, but still weak and in need of lots of "off her feet" time. Thank you to everyone who prayed for her. She is such a blessing to all, but especially to me during this season of my life. From her hospital bed druggd up on mrphine she was apologizing for not calling to check on me that day! So silly. I love you Danyel...and that sweet baby you're carrying! I can't wait to meet her!
  
• Thursday night Chris and I attended a mandatory class called, For Kids Sake. All couples divorcing under this particular judge have to take this 4 hour class on how to be a good parent through the divorce. When I walked in the room, I was overwhelmed with the crowd. There were people of all different ages, shapes, and colors who were in a similar boat as myself. None of us probably ever thought we'd be ending our fairytale romances in a class like this. How humiliating. Much to my surprise, the class was very beneficial and mostly entertaining. Chris and I got along perfectly all evening. He even asked me to coffee afterwards. We went over the divorce papers that just came in the mail that day. The evening was super cordial until the last 2 minutes. We got into an argument and we left on a bad note. That was hard. Julie watched the kids while I went to the class, so because it was such a late night the kids and I spent the night with her. It was fun to sit up and talk with her (until too late). Thank You Julie!!!
• Yesterday morning Julie watched the kids again for me while I went to see Dr. Cindy at her office. This was the day that I had to be "tested" for everything under the sun relating to STD's. Another humiliating thing that I had to check off the list. I will know the results next week. I did find out, however that my bladder is really weak after giving birth to such an enormous baby. There might be surgery for me in the future if we can't get things to improve.
• We had "Foundations" this morning (this is our little Bible preschool that we've been doing for years. We renamed it "Foundations" because the kids aren't in preschool any more! Three of them are in Kindergarten!). I showed up right at the end in time for the games.
  
• Wednesday night I had a late night. A huge pitfall for me through all of this has been staying up too late. I still haven't figured out how to make myself go to bed at a decent hour. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Wednesday night I just got this wind of energy about 11:00 pm. I put in Pride and Prejudice and got to sorting through all the baby clothes I have been storing. I wanted to pass the girl clothes on to my sister and then get rid of the boy clothes that were not sentimental (which one is NOT, right?) and sell them in our garage sale that is happening next weekend. I had a hard time and it took me completely off guard. I stared at these little clothes and the memories came flooding in. I kept one tub of sentimental items and personalized things that I will want to keep forever and then I got rid of the rest. I cried and cried and cried. Why? SO many reasons. I want more children. I have for a long time, but the idea of purposefully bringing a child into a stressful situation was out of the question for me. Thank the Lord He gave me the two babies that He did, when He did. He had a plan. But I also cried just out of sheer pain at realizing that when B wore this certain little outfit his daddy was being unfaithful to me. He was not what I thought he was. I was in a make believe world and was oblivious. So much of the pain of that is just feeling like a fool, ya know? A fool that you couldn't put all the pieces together. But the fact is and remains...God hid it from me until the time He so ordained for it to come to light. He protected me and prepared me. So, letting go of those baby clothes was painful because I felt as if I was turning my future over to the Lord again. I was saying, "God, you know my heart! You know I desire to be a wife and mommy. I trust You. You will do what's best, I know." That was not easy.
• Last night was small group night at church. I went to the Sowell's house which live very close. The Reeds were there and Brad. It was a small group, but lots of fun. Yay for encouragement!
• Today Laurie, Mom, the kids and I are going to Canton. YAY! I've only been one other time and it was so fun. I'm excited to go again. Ya know, sorry to all the married girls reading this, but it's kind of fun to decide how you spend your money. I have shared a checkbook for 8 years and now I have my own. It's weird and kind of fun! Have to look at the bright side, right??

Sorry for such a long post. I have so many fun pictures I want to post, but blogger won't let me! WAA! I'll have to have patience. Have a great weekend everyone and enjoy this weather!!