Request for Prayer

I do not want to be brave. I do not want to make the decisions that are ahead of me. I do not want to be the one responsible for providing for my family. I do not want this burden.
But... God has given it me and He has made a way for me and my kids to not starve this summer. I know His plan is good and it is set in place. Practically speaking though, I just have to find some way to make money this summer and figure out what to do with my kids during that time. I know that I will be teaching Kindermusik camps, 3 in all are scheduled (this means 3 weeks). Then I will have voice lessons to teach and a few days at Blue Ivy for summer music camps. But I'll do the math for you...it's not going to be enough!! I am a hard worker and I'm willing, I just don't think it's a great plan to go down to the mall and apply at my local Dillard's for a summer job. I don't think it's a good use of my time away from my kids...especially when childcare would cost more than I would make in my paycheck. I am praying about this and I was hoping that you would be praying with me too.

Then there is the fall...*big sigh*
I really thought everything was worked out for the fall...but now I'm sure any more. It's truly a bummer. Blue Ivy has guaranteed me 3 days of work next year with the possibility of adding a fourth day. I will also have Kindermusik one day a week, so right there I have a big hunk of my schedule full. Bummer is, I need all five days to be full!! So, do I stick with Blue Ivy in hopes that They will ad to my schedule, or do I stay at Children's Park and try to find a different school? And, B is starting Kindergarten next year. Of course I want to homeschool, but he might as well go to a Kindergarten if I am there already at a school that offers Kindergarten. It would also relieve me of the pressure of having to come home in the afternoon and teach him. I keep thinking that this coming year will be sort of an "in-between year" where I will be in between what I'm doing now and what I will be doing long term. Long term will probably mean that I will teach at a private or public school full time when B is in first grade and Cait is in Kindergarten. Then I feel like I could pick a place and stay indefinitely. The sound of that is very sad to me. Indefinitely. Indefinitely single. Indefinitely NOT homeschooling. Indefinitely a working mom. Yuck.

So to give you the bullets for my requests for prayer (this will suite Jenni best)

• A job for the summer that would allow me to be away from my children as little as possible.
• If I do have to be away from them, that God would provide someone to care for them. My amazing babysitter Sarah is moving to Mexico with her husband for mission work. How dare her, right? So, provide a sitter or God give me a job where my kids can go with me.
• The fall... wisdom for me to know whether to stay at Blue Ivy or find a different school to teach at, in the place of Blue Ivy.
• Kindergarten for Benjamin. Do I try to pay for private out my tiny salary, do I send him to public (last and most horrible resort) or do I put him in no program and try to school him at home in the afternoons or weekends.

Thank you for those of you who I know will pray. I have thought and prayed and thought some more about this and it is all jumbled up in my head. I can't seem to think clearly about summer or the fall. Maybe God has done that intentionally so that I can be available for something else completely different that is coming along! Thanks for your prayers!