The weekend

Well, it was a great weekend. I feel like the weekend is actually spilling in to the week because Danyel and Eli are still here. This is the part that I was looking forward to the most. The reason being because it's always hard after the "party" is over not to be sad. But the party is over and I'm not sad because I have my sweet sister here to give me company. She's always thinking of others before herself, which is so inspiring. I want to mimic her in this area. She's not the only one in my life that models this selflessness for me, by any means. God has blessed me by surrounding me with people that are focused on others. I want to really focus on this right now. I have been so self-absorbed for like 2 months now! I have been in my own little bubble world. It's just that the issue at hand is surrounding you, engulfing you to the point that you can barely see past it. Anyway, some of the smoke has cleared to the point where I need to look outside my situation and focus more on others. "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Phil 2:4. This was Benjamin's memory verse for last week. It's amazing how the Lord gives us what we need to hear when we need to hear it.

Anyway, my birthday weekend was fun. The fam here...we ate at MiMi's on Saturday morning. Laurie came with us. Ryan snuck off and paid for us all! Speaking of Ryan...he fixed my broken bookshelves AND set up my stereo system while he was here. This was a lot of work, including a trip to Home Depot and to Walmart. What a nice guy! Can you believe it? I have a stereo system with a sub-woofer (spelling?) and everything! Why not, right? I had it, so why not hook it up?
After brunch we went to B's soccer game. It was awkward and awful (Chris AND my parents/Danyel and Ryan were all there). It was totally stressful leading up to the game because no one could agree on how they wanted things to look with Chris. "Do we sit by him? Do we talk to him? If we talk to him, do we act like nothing happened?" It's just hard, ya know? Everyone wants to forgive and be kind, but there's a fine line between being gracious and communicating that it's "no big deal". Because it IS a big deal!! Anyway, I ended up sitting by Chris for most of the game. Why? Well, it really helps when your little boy scores a goal and looks up to see who's cheering. Where would he look if we sat apart? Mom or dad first? Not fair! We sat together for most of the game. Cait hung out with us. Once again, Ryan saved the day. He came over and talked to Chris. He was definitely the best candidate for the job. I think it blessed Chris to have Ryan have a sincere conversation with him. But it was hard. I felt like bawling the whole time. This is all so wrong and so unnatural! This is not the way it should be. The undoing of a marriage or even the rebuilding of one that has been shattered is the hardest task I can fathom. Sin reeks havock on so many lives. We clearly do not count the cost of our sins before we act! Lord help us to look to You and give us grace not to sin! Sin is so gross!

After the game we all came home. Everyone crashed but me. I worked a little, cried a little while everyone rested. When dad woke up he helped me hang shelves in the garage. They are very nice. I will put them to great use. Thanks daddy!
After naptime we all loaded in the car and headed to the fair. By the time we got IN the fair, we had spent almost $75 and we hadn't even done anything or eaten anything yet! Can you see where this story is headed? The bummer is also that we didn't make it there until almost 6:00. Corn dogs and drinks for everyone was another $45. Yikes!! Anyway, we saw some fun things. The kids got to pet baby pigs and goats, a buffalo tried to charge them from his pen and Benjamin picked dried poop off a baby camels booty. Quite gross and funny. An eventful time. We also let them ride some rides, which I have great picks of, but you know why they're not here, right? BOO blogger! I will try to get those up soon though.

Well, Saturday was okay, but Sunday was better. Church! Always good. Sunday night the girls came over to help me celebrate. They brought yummy food and presents! So sweet! We just laughed and talked until probably too late! Thank you to my sweet friends who wanted to make sure THIS birthday was a good one. I love you and thank God for the blessing of you in my life!

On a different note...the divorce papers are complete. They are signed and they are going in the mail today. The end of something I never wanted to come to an end. And who do I run to for comfort? Not a husband anymore. But now I can soley lean on my heavenly Father, my friend and my Savior. The way it should have been all along, but now it is certain. Pray that He will be the only comforter I seek.