"I don't claim to have found the Truth, but I know it has found me."
Sara Groves
"Conversations"
December 29, 2006
December 27, 2006
Painting Pictures of Egypt
Well, we finally made it home around 8:30 tonight. I unloaded the van, but resolved to worry about putting everything away tomorrow. I want to give an update on our trip...maybe tomorrow. But tonight I want to share some amazing encouragement that I got today. Well, it started years ago when I saw Sara Groves sing at Chris's graduation from DTS. She really impressed me with her genuineness, her simplistic sound and the profound lyrics to her songs. Well, that was 4 and a half years ago. This Christmas I told my parents that I would like one of her CD's. I had no idea which one, just surprise me. So in my stocking received a Sarah Groves CD entitled, "Conversations." I popped it in this afternoon on the long drive home. Song number 3 struck me like a blinding light. It was as if the song where written for me. In all honesty...I struggled this Christmas. I know I don't want what I had in my marriage (an unfaithful husband who didn't love me) but it was what I had grown to know and be familiar with. Well, this song by Sarah Groves said it all. She based the song on Exodus 16:3 "And the people of Israel said to them, 'Would that we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.'" They didn't want to go back, but they were scared to go forward.
Here's the song...
Painting Pictures of Egypt
I don't want to leave, I don't want to stay.
It feels like pinching to me either way.
The places I long for the most are the places where I've been.
They are calling after me like a long lost friend.
It's not about losing faith, it's not about trust,
It's all about comfortable when you move so much.
The place I was wasn't perfect but I had found a way to live.
It wasn't milk or honey but then neither is this.
I've been painting pictures of Egypt leaving out what it lacked.
The future feels so hard and I want to go back.
But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I've learned,
and those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned. (Red Sea)
The past is so tangible, I know it by heart,
familiar things are never easy to discard.
I was longing for some freedom, but now I hesitate to go,
I am caught between the promise and the things I know.
I've been painting pictures of Egypt leaving out what it lacked.
The future feels so hard and I want to go back.
But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I've learned,
and those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned.
If it comes too quick, I may not recognize it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick, I may not appreciate it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
So...it's just like with those Israelites. They were pushed out into the desert for their own good. It was HARD, I know. But God was freeing them from slavery and bringing them to the promised land. There is always a desert to walk through before you get to the promised land. And we can't hurry it up. There has to be time that ticks on and lots of sand pass under our feet before we arrive. If not, would we really appreciate that promised land? We need to cling to the promise that God is good. He is always good. If we're in the desert and we're his, then we're on our way to the promised land. And we can't go back to Egypt. We had found a way to live there, but no longer. He led us out and is leading us by the hand somewhere else. It's a good place and now there is no going back. Why would we want to go back? Why would we ever go back when He is leading us to the land flowing with milk and honey?
Here's the song...
Painting Pictures of Egypt
I don't want to leave, I don't want to stay.
It feels like pinching to me either way.
The places I long for the most are the places where I've been.
They are calling after me like a long lost friend.
It's not about losing faith, it's not about trust,
It's all about comfortable when you move so much.
The place I was wasn't perfect but I had found a way to live.
It wasn't milk or honey but then neither is this.
I've been painting pictures of Egypt leaving out what it lacked.
The future feels so hard and I want to go back.
But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I've learned,
and those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned. (Red Sea)
The past is so tangible, I know it by heart,
familiar things are never easy to discard.
I was longing for some freedom, but now I hesitate to go,
I am caught between the promise and the things I know.
I've been painting pictures of Egypt leaving out what it lacked.
The future feels so hard and I want to go back.
But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I've learned,
and those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned.
If it comes too quick, I may not recognize it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick, I may not appreciate it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
So...it's just like with those Israelites. They were pushed out into the desert for their own good. It was HARD, I know. But God was freeing them from slavery and bringing them to the promised land. There is always a desert to walk through before you get to the promised land. And we can't hurry it up. There has to be time that ticks on and lots of sand pass under our feet before we arrive. If not, would we really appreciate that promised land? We need to cling to the promise that God is good. He is always good. If we're in the desert and we're his, then we're on our way to the promised land. And we can't go back to Egypt. We had found a way to live there, but no longer. He led us out and is leading us by the hand somewhere else. It's a good place and now there is no going back. Why would we want to go back? Why would we ever go back when He is leading us to the land flowing with milk and honey?
December 19, 2006
Merry Christmas!
I hope you all have a blessed time with those you love this week. I will miss you, but we'll see you when we return next Wednesday. By the way, Danyel is at the hospital as I type this being induced. Lord willing, baby Mia Beth will be born today some time. Pray for safe travel for us and a safe delivery for Danyel and the baby.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
December 18, 2006
Christmas Program
Before we leave town I wanted to post a few pictures of the first two Christmas programs I directed this year. The third program I only got a few shots of and they were on Laurie's camera...which I'm not sure if I'll ever see again!! Just kidding Laurie!
Anyway, first program consisted of the 2 year olds singing 3 songs. They screamed and cried through the entire program. One child sang the songs while the others had to be held back from running to their parents. It was sad! I thought it was retarded in the first place to have a program with 2 year olds, but no one asked me! Then the 3 year olds took the stage. Very different story! No one crying, no one wanting off the stage...a few picking their noses, yes. But I'll take nose picking over screaming any day! Cait was in this group and they were all little reindeer. They sang, "One little, 2 little, 3 little reindeer", "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and a few others.
Here's Cait counting the reindeer. Was a smart girl!!
The little boy next to her was distracting her from her little performance!
We're working on the modesty thing!
The second program started the next hour. This was the Pre-K and Kindergarten classes at Blue Ivy. We were performing, "Bob Humbug: The Christmas Grump." It's quite funny, actually and the kids pulled it off! The Kindergarten is in the middle with the fancy collars. The Pre-K is split into 2 groups, one on each side. Benjamin is in this group. Can you find him?
This was a song about Bob being a Christmas grump. Benjamin was doing the motions to the song, unlike the children around him, obviously
Do I have a class clown on my hands?
Thank God for my mom who came to help. She saved the day. I couldn't even list everything she did to help me this weekend, especially during the program. Thanks MOM! And thanks Laurie for coming to video and help with pictures. You're such an awesome friend!
The relieved director with the cutest elf and reindeer I've ever seen!
Anyway, first program consisted of the 2 year olds singing 3 songs. They screamed and cried through the entire program. One child sang the songs while the others had to be held back from running to their parents. It was sad! I thought it was retarded in the first place to have a program with 2 year olds, but no one asked me! Then the 3 year olds took the stage. Very different story! No one crying, no one wanting off the stage...a few picking their noses, yes. But I'll take nose picking over screaming any day! Cait was in this group and they were all little reindeer. They sang, "One little, 2 little, 3 little reindeer", "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and a few others.
Here's Cait counting the reindeer. Was a smart girl!!
The little boy next to her was distracting her from her little performance!
We're working on the modesty thing!
The second program started the next hour. This was the Pre-K and Kindergarten classes at Blue Ivy. We were performing, "Bob Humbug: The Christmas Grump." It's quite funny, actually and the kids pulled it off! The Kindergarten is in the middle with the fancy collars. The Pre-K is split into 2 groups, one on each side. Benjamin is in this group. Can you find him?
This was a song about Bob being a Christmas grump. Benjamin was doing the motions to the song, unlike the children around him, obviously
Do I have a class clown on my hands?
Thank God for my mom who came to help. She saved the day. I couldn't even list everything she did to help me this weekend, especially during the program. Thanks MOM! And thanks Laurie for coming to video and help with pictures. You're such an awesome friend!
The relieved director with the cutest elf and reindeer I've ever seen!
December 16, 2006
My friend Jenni
Happy Birthday Jenni!!
Today is Jenni's birthday. She is my dear, dear friend that God gave me. We've been friends for several years, but only in this last year did we grow super close. God gave her to me because He knew I would need just that kind of friend to lean on this year. Jenni is not just any old friend, no...she is that friend that knows every little detail of your life. She remembers everything you tell her, remembers everything you like and is so very thoughtful. She is the kind of wife and mother that I would love to be one day. She loves the Lord and He has blessed her with a great deal of wisdom. That wisdom has come in very useful to me this year! She sharpens me and spurs me on to be more like my Savior. I thank God that He gave me Jenni, among many other amazing friends to be my support, my prayer warriors and my friends.
Happy Birthday dear friend!!! I love you!
Today is Jenni's birthday. She is my dear, dear friend that God gave me. We've been friends for several years, but only in this last year did we grow super close. God gave her to me because He knew I would need just that kind of friend to lean on this year. Jenni is not just any old friend, no...she is that friend that knows every little detail of your life. She remembers everything you tell her, remembers everything you like and is so very thoughtful. She is the kind of wife and mother that I would love to be one day. She loves the Lord and He has blessed her with a great deal of wisdom. That wisdom has come in very useful to me this year! She sharpens me and spurs me on to be more like my Savior. I thank God that He gave me Jenni, among many other amazing friends to be my support, my prayer warriors and my friends.
Happy Birthday dear friend!!! I love you!
December 15, 2006
Weekend Update
Just to fill in some blanks...
- Danyel is still pregnant! She is due on Sunday, the 17th, but no sign of Mia yet. i wanted Mia to wait until I could get there on Tuesday, so we'll see if she cooperates with her auntie. Danyel is scheduled to be induced on Tuesday if she hasn't had the baby by then. I hope for her sake that she won't have to be induced.
- Church Christmas party was tonight. I love our church family! They are so loving and kind. All the men really look out for Benjamin...you can tell. I see them seize little opportunities to teach him something or talk with him. It's so sweet and yet so completely depressing at the same time. I can't help but bawl writing this and thinking about it. His daddy should be there teaching him how to have good manners, how to be a good friend and how to play foosball with the best of them. He should be there. But he's not. If I had a dollar for every time that I've asked God to fill in the gaps for my children and help them not be scarred by this mess...I'd be a rich woman. They truly are in His hands.
- I've decided NOT to report the guy from the symphony. After thinking it through, the only real reason I want to report him is because of the principle of the matter. I love to defend the principle!
- I got a gift card to Bath and Body works from one of my students. I also had coupon. I bought an I-pod there that was on clearance. After all was said and done, it cost me $5. Yes, I said $5. I'm certain it is a crappy machine, but it will do the trick on the treadmill for me! YAH!
- I get to sleep in in the morning! I don't even remember what that is like! Don't you dare call me before 9:00 (unless you're Danyel and you're in labor)!! My kids weren't in bed until 10:30 because of the party and I gave them strict instructions to get books when they wake-up, so I just might get away with a morning to snooze in. It's the little things, right?
December 13, 2006
Should be Illegal!
Tonight I had the weirdest thing happen. As you know, Laurie and I went to the symphony last week. So, a man called me from the Dallas Symphony (even said so on the caller ID) and was asking me about my frequency at the symphony...I think trying to sell me season tickets. I cut him off pretty quick with the info that I'm a single mom and I can't afford to go to the symphony more than maybe once a year at the most. He politely let me go and I resumed my dinner with my children. Funny thing...3 hours later he called again, only this time it was from a private number. He introduced himself as "Dean" from the Dallas symphony, whom I spoke with earlier in the evening. He went on to say that he noticed I lived in Wylie and he also lived in Wylie. He remembered me saying I was a single mom and wanted to know if I wanted to go for coffee with him sometime!!!
what?
How can he take my personal info from his job and then call me on his cell phone later to try to get a date? AND, how desperate is he? He doesn't even know what the heck I look like. I could be super bugly or psycho for that matter. I politely told him that I would have to decline and that I was in the middle of reading bedtime stories...so "good night."
Weird people out there! If he knows my city and phone number, wouldn't he also have my home address? EEK! Should I call the symphony and report him? What if he gets fired, gets mad at me and THEN comes to my house??? Am I getting carried away?
Some advice here would be appreciated! I have to laugh though!! My first date offer since the divorce and it is from a telemarketer who liked my voice!! hee hee!
what?
How can he take my personal info from his job and then call me on his cell phone later to try to get a date? AND, how desperate is he? He doesn't even know what the heck I look like. I could be super bugly or psycho for that matter. I politely told him that I would have to decline and that I was in the middle of reading bedtime stories...so "good night."
Weird people out there! If he knows my city and phone number, wouldn't he also have my home address? EEK! Should I call the symphony and report him? What if he gets fired, gets mad at me and THEN comes to my house??? Am I getting carried away?
Some advice here would be appreciated! I have to laugh though!! My first date offer since the divorce and it is from a telemarketer who liked my voice!! hee hee!
December 12, 2006
Beauty Queen
Cait was invited to a birthday party last weekend for a little girl in our Kindermusik class. Rylee was turning four and she wanted to have a dress-up party. There is a haircut place just for kids in Rockwall called Sharkey's. In the back of this ultra cool shop is a party room. It is decked out in hot pink and lots of fur. It has mirrored dressing tables and a wall of dress-up dresses to choose from. Here was the low-down: Girls came in and picked a dress. They got changed, then went and got their make-up done (all stations were manned by high school girls...what a COOl job!!). This consisted of sparkle eye shadow, blush and sparkle lip gloss. Next they got their nails painted any color they chose. Lastly they got their hair done ...and Cait asked to look just like Cinderella, please. The girl actually did a great job making her look like Cinderella.
After the girls were all "fixed" and ready, they did a mini fashion show where they put the girls u on a stage. They took their picture and we all cheered. It was funny!
Here are some pics from the day...
Make-up
Getting the princess "do"
"I'm ready!"
Cait in the fashion show. She looked a little confused about the whole thing.
What a fun memory for me and my girl!
After the girls were all "fixed" and ready, they did a mini fashion show where they put the girls u on a stage. They took their picture and we all cheered. It was funny!
Here are some pics from the day...
Make-up
Getting the princess "do"
"I'm ready!"
Cait in the fashion show. She looked a little confused about the whole thing.
What a fun memory for me and my girl!
December 10, 2006
General Update
Well, God has blessed me in so many neat ways lately that I just had to write them down for my own record and possibly for your encouragement as well.
- I needed to buy a certain curriculum from Kindermusik...a new level that I will begin teaching in the fall. It's called Young Child for ages 4 1/2 to 7 yrs. This curriculum is really for the purpose of preparing them for private music study, such as piano or violin. I would always recommend beginning with piano, no matter what your long term goals are musically. Anyway, I wanted Benjamin to be able to benefit from this class as well as reach a whole new clientele. Long story short...I needed to buy 4 different curricula at $90 each, $100 if you include shipping. Well, 2 weeks ago I got on e-bay, which I've never bought anything from and looked around at their Kindermusik stuff. Someone was selling all 4 curricula together and the going bid was $45!!! To cut through all the drama, I won it for $56. Can you believe it? To make it even better, the very day I won the teacher's curriculum on e-bay some random person came into the School of Music with a Young Child student kit...complete and wanted to know if anyone there would find it useful. She hated to throw it away! So right there I got B's kit for free. Unbelievable! It was obvious to me that day that God was orchestrating my future and the success of it as well!
- Mindy, my dear friend from Maryland (well, she's from Dallas but moved to Maryland) lost her Nana just last week. It was somewhat sudden and very heartbreaking for Mindy because she was so very close to her Nana. Mindy and Jeremy and all 5 of their kids DROVE to Mt. Pleasant, TX for the funeral last Saturday. I was so blessed to catch a ride with the Pates and go to the funeral. Another dear friend, Laurie volunteered to watch my kids so I could go be with Mindy, help her with her kids and not worry about my own. Is that not amazing? What a friend! Well, I was blessed to be there with Mindy and her family and to get to meet Brianna Joy (12 days old). I had the horrible task of holding her during the service!! OOOHHH!!! I want more babies!!!! Obviously not right now.... but maybe one day??? Anyway, back to Mindy. What a blessing to see them and be there to show our love for them! I thank God that He made a way for me to go. And by the way, they made it home safe and sound!!
- One of my biggest struggles in being divorced was knowing that I would have to give up some things that were very important to me, like homeschooling my children and teaching Kindermusik. I have found a knack there and I truly can say I love my "job". I hated the idea that I would have to give up something that I loved so that I could be the "provider" for my kids. Well, God answered those prayers for this year with an additional job at Blue Ivy School. Well what I haven't told you yet is that they pulled me into the office a few weeks ago and asked me to consider teaching at their sister school also(brand new in Rockwall) 2 days a week. Now, I already have a school on those days, but this is a bigger school, so I would get more hours which equals more pay and I would have more consistency. The true bonus of it, is that Benjamin would be able to go to their private Kindergarten full time and Cait would be able to go to Pre-K there full time FOR FREE!!! Could I afford private school for my kids? Uh, no. Did I want to put them in public school? Uh, double no. And the extra, extra bonus? That still leaves one day a week open for Kindermusik as well as all my afternoons!! GOD is so generous! He is so loving. HE is my PROVIDER! HE is my FRIEND! HE is with me to the end!
The Christmas Spirit
Last Wednesday Laurie and I had a girl's night. We met up at Maggiano's Little Italy and ate a yummy meal! I had one of my favorites...lump crab cakes and tried something new as well. I asked for an iced tea but the waitress suggested a frozen tea (with a little white wine and peaceh schnopps added in). It's called a Bellini. I've heard of them but never tried one. Divine!
We rushed off after dinner to the Meyerson where we saw Michael W. Smith in concert with the Dallas Symphony. There are no words....
The Meyerson was beautifully decorated for Christmas. We had great seats for the show. We sat in the choral section which is actually behind the stage. We were on the side choral section, so we had a little better view of Smitty's hands as he ripped up the piano. From where we sat we were actually looking down on the orchestra. I had a perfect view of my favorite...the percussion section!! They are so amazing! Real musicians. I wish I were a "real" musician!! The music they played was very nostalgic for me. MWS's first Christmas album has been one of my favorites since high school. He played all the old, but goodies from the album as well as some traditional carols. We sang several carols as a "congregation" which was quite hart warming. Talk about getting in the Christmas spirit! If I hadn't already been in the spirit, this would've done the trick! It was an amazing night!
Like I said, there are no words to describe how awesome it was, so it's no surprise this posting doesn't do justice. Here are some fun pictures from the night!! Not sure why th pctures are posting so small, but just click ont hm and you can see them bigger, I think!
We rushed off after dinner to the Meyerson where we saw Michael W. Smith in concert with the Dallas Symphony. There are no words....
The Meyerson was beautifully decorated for Christmas. We had great seats for the show. We sat in the choral section which is actually behind the stage. We were on the side choral section, so we had a little better view of Smitty's hands as he ripped up the piano. From where we sat we were actually looking down on the orchestra. I had a perfect view of my favorite...the percussion section!! They are so amazing! Real musicians. I wish I were a "real" musician!! The music they played was very nostalgic for me. MWS's first Christmas album has been one of my favorites since high school. He played all the old, but goodies from the album as well as some traditional carols. We sang several carols as a "congregation" which was quite hart warming. Talk about getting in the Christmas spirit! If I hadn't already been in the spirit, this would've done the trick! It was an amazing night!
Like I said, there are no words to describe how awesome it was, so it's no surprise this posting doesn't do justice. Here are some fun pictures from the night!! Not sure why th pctures are posting so small, but just click ont hm and you can see them bigger, I think!
December 05, 2006
My Ballerina
Today Cait had her ballet/tap observation class. We haven't gotten to see all semester exactly what they do in there, so today we finally got a glimpse. 100 parents armed with cameras and camcorders watched together as our little darlings performed. It was one of the most adorable things I've ever seen in my life. What a memory! Cait is quite the performer I found out today and just as clumbsy as I knew she was! She may not be graceful yet, but she is sweet!
December 03, 2006
Blessings in pairs
This week has been a week filled with much emotion. Not many different kinds of emotions really...just one. This emotion is one that I have been confused about. Why now? Why in this magnitude? Should I be feeling this way? Is this emotion natural? Is it holy? or is it sin? What do I do with this emotion? How do I cope? How do I express it in a God-honoring way? How do I get rid of it? All of these questions stem from one blood-boiling little emotion called ANGER. Lots of thoughts are flooding my mind as I type this. Lots of processing going on. Here's the deal though: I've been struggling for over a week now. I feel drained and up tight. I feel on edge and consumed in my thoughts. It's been a long week or so. The Lord was good though. He gave me a blessing yesterday that helped me see things more clearly. Last night I went to visit with my new friend Medina. I've known Medina for 2 years now, but we've never gotten an opportunity to really get to know on another. Well, in the last few months I've grown to know her more. And to know her, is to love her! Medina has been through something very similar to what I have been through in my marriage. She is a survivor. She has come out on the other side and seen how God had a plan for her. The path to get to the blessing was neither straight nor smooth, but He was with her all the way. And where has this road taken her? To a sweet, godly husband (of 7 years) named Tim. It also brought her to our church and into our lives. Thank you God! I was able to talk last night with Medina about my situation and essentially these feelings I've been having.
ANGER. It is powerful! The thing that triggers the angry feelings is the processing that is going on in my brain. You know...the processing of "OH! Now I know why he said this" or "Oh, now it makes sense why he always did that." I'm figuring out piece by piece what was really going on behind my back for 5 years! It is the processing that I don't want to do! I don't want to think about it. I don't want to dwell. Mostly, I don't want him to steal one more second of my life or happiness from me, ya know? 5 years is too long. I don't want to give one minute more. But unfortunately, the brain and heart are complicated! It takes to time to process these things. Medina's husband called it a "holocaust" of the heart. That's what it feels like. A bomb has exploded and the dust has been settling now for months. I'm left here in the middle of the wreckage looking around at the destruction and shaking my head in disbelief. But standing there will do me no good, will it? I have to get walking. I have to walk step, by step, day by day towards the green, unaffected land on the outside. One day I pray that I will reach the place where the landscape is green and flourishing with life and beauty. But for now, I have to walk. I have to examine the wreckage, the disgusting aftermath of a lengthy sin.
Something my pastor told me "the" night the bomb was detonated in my life was that yes, there has been a devastation and yes, I would have to walk through the wreckage. But, the good news is that I will not walk alone. I have to walk the path, but not alone. Not only will the heavenly Father be with me, but my dear brothers and sisters will be with me. Medina is on of those dear sisters who has promised NOT to forget me in her prayers even though the dust has settled. But surprisingly last night, the blessing came in a pair. Medina's husband Tim was there last night as well. He encouraged me right along with his sweet wife. If their words weren't encouraging enough, just the simple and beautiful picture of them...them as a couple was enough to encourage me beyond measure. Tim said something that will stick with me, I think. He said (and it hurt his hart to say it) that if Medina had not walked this road and been divorced...If these things had not happened to her, then there would be no "them." There would be no Tim and Medina. God works in mysterious ways and I see that I have to look forward to seeing how God works in my life to bring beauty from the ashes of my present rubble. I can't wait!
For now though...walking, processing and trusting Him. Day by day. One at a time. Anger may come as a byproduct of the processing, but I know the Lord will help me deal with that in time.
This is what mourning looks like after an affair. This is what death of a marriage looks like. It hurts. But in the midst of it, there is hope. Hope for a beautiful tomorrow.
ANGER. It is powerful! The thing that triggers the angry feelings is the processing that is going on in my brain. You know...the processing of "OH! Now I know why he said this" or "Oh, now it makes sense why he always did that." I'm figuring out piece by piece what was really going on behind my back for 5 years! It is the processing that I don't want to do! I don't want to think about it. I don't want to dwell. Mostly, I don't want him to steal one more second of my life or happiness from me, ya know? 5 years is too long. I don't want to give one minute more. But unfortunately, the brain and heart are complicated! It takes to time to process these things. Medina's husband called it a "holocaust" of the heart. That's what it feels like. A bomb has exploded and the dust has been settling now for months. I'm left here in the middle of the wreckage looking around at the destruction and shaking my head in disbelief. But standing there will do me no good, will it? I have to get walking. I have to walk step, by step, day by day towards the green, unaffected land on the outside. One day I pray that I will reach the place where the landscape is green and flourishing with life and beauty. But for now, I have to walk. I have to examine the wreckage, the disgusting aftermath of a lengthy sin.
Something my pastor told me "the" night the bomb was detonated in my life was that yes, there has been a devastation and yes, I would have to walk through the wreckage. But, the good news is that I will not walk alone. I have to walk the path, but not alone. Not only will the heavenly Father be with me, but my dear brothers and sisters will be with me. Medina is on of those dear sisters who has promised NOT to forget me in her prayers even though the dust has settled. But surprisingly last night, the blessing came in a pair. Medina's husband Tim was there last night as well. He encouraged me right along with his sweet wife. If their words weren't encouraging enough, just the simple and beautiful picture of them...them as a couple was enough to encourage me beyond measure. Tim said something that will stick with me, I think. He said (and it hurt his hart to say it) that if Medina had not walked this road and been divorced...If these things had not happened to her, then there would be no "them." There would be no Tim and Medina. God works in mysterious ways and I see that I have to look forward to seeing how God works in my life to bring beauty from the ashes of my present rubble. I can't wait!
For now though...walking, processing and trusting Him. Day by day. One at a time. Anger may come as a byproduct of the processing, but I know the Lord will help me deal with that in time.
This is what mourning looks like after an affair. This is what death of a marriage looks like. It hurts. But in the midst of it, there is hope. Hope for a beautiful tomorrow.
December 01, 2006
Thanksgiving Pictures
Cait showing off her gingerbread cookies. My mom caught her sucking the icing right out of the tube instead of putting it on the gingerbread men where it belonged!!
Me and my friend Ashley. There was no one over 4 years old there with us, so we had to take the picture ourselves.
My kids with Ashley's girls (L-R) Isabella, Gabriella and Maya
Poppa and Benjamin being hard working cowboys
Benjamin during his first riding lesson. And NO, my dad is NOT leading the horse, either. Scary! What a precious picture though, huh?
The fam at my uncle Mark and Aunt Sharon's Thanksgiving Day.
My cousin Deke giving Benjamin a roping lesson
Taking a try on his own. Get that cow, Benjamin!
Me and my friend Ashley. There was no one over 4 years old there with us, so we had to take the picture ourselves.
My kids with Ashley's girls (L-R) Isabella, Gabriella and Maya
Poppa and Benjamin being hard working cowboys
Benjamin during his first riding lesson. And NO, my dad is NOT leading the horse, either. Scary! What a precious picture though, huh?
The fam at my uncle Mark and Aunt Sharon's Thanksgiving Day.
My cousin Deke giving Benjamin a roping lesson
Taking a try on his own. Get that cow, Benjamin!
November 30, 2006
Pray for the Mayhews!
My dear friend Mindy, her husband and 5 children are on their way, as I type to Texas. They are driving. Mindy just had a C-section delivery of her precious baby girl, Brianna Joy only 10 days ago!! However, the reason they are traveling now is because Mindy's precious Nana passed away yesterday during surgery to remove a brain tumor. Nana will be greatly missed. The Memorial service is on Saturday at 11:00 in Mt. Pleasant, Texas. I'm sad for the circumstances but I am grateful that I will get to see MIndy, her family and especially baby Brianna! Pray for safe travel for this sweet family!
Christmas decor
Yesterday and today I indulged myself. I pulled out the 7 massive boxes of Christmas decorations that I have collected and dove in. I set up the tree, the garland, set out my snowmen collection. I pulled out the Christmas scented candles and soaps. And my most favorite of all ... my Christmas CD's. There is nothing in the whole wide world like the feeling you get when it's cold outside, but you're warm inside listening to Russ Taft, Amy Grant or the grandest of all...Michael W. Smith Christmas albums. Before you laugh, have you heard these albums? Don't knock it till you try it! I don't generally listen to any of those 3 artists on any given day, but I do every year for the whole month of December. However, this year I have added a new favorite album to my Christmas play list (thanks to Mindy for buying it for me and mailing it to me as a surprise! You know me so well friend!). It is Sovereign Grace Ministry's first Christmas album entitled, "Savior: Celebrating the Mystery of God Become Man" It is AMAZING!!! Did I mention that it is phenomenal?? I mean it! There are 12 original Christmas themed songs on it. I couldn't possibly choose one as my favorite. No way. Anyway, check it out. Treat yourself this year to an early Christmas present. Even better, one that will cause you to celebrate at the realization of the glorious gift of the gospel!
November 27, 2006
Trip Details
So we left straight from the parking lot of Blue Ivy School on Friday, Nov 17th. We arrived in Tomball close to dinner time. Danyel and Eli came to stay the night and we all went out to dinner. I had some good old southern chicken fried chicken, mashed potatoes with cream gravy and green beans. So bad for me! The next morning Danyel, Cait and I went to go see my granny in the hospital. She had to stay way longer there than originally anticipated because they were waiting for her blood to thin out to a healthy level. We were glad to see her, but it was hard. She looked so weak and frail. That afternoon mom, Danyel, Cait and I went shopping and then to get pedicures. Mom treated us all. Cait got her first mani and pedi that day. Well, really she just got lotion, polish and then little flowers put on top of her polish. She thought she was very big. I got a glimpse into the future of many years to come of her joining "the girls" for outings like this one. So fun! That night we went to eat mexican food with Danyel's in-laws, Dick and Sue. Danyel and Eli headed home from there.
The next morning we all got dressed for church. Benjamin wanted to wear his cowboy boots and hat to church like his Poppa. This was funny to me. He is developing his own interests apart from me. Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful thing to see your child gain independence, but strange to watch them become their own person day by day. Anyway, B looked very handsome and my dad taught him proper hat manners; they took off their hats when they entered the building. Such a blessing to watch B being instructed in "manly" things by my dad. I can really trust that my dad is going to always teach him how to be a "real man" and be a gentleman at the same time!
Sunday afternoon my cousin had a lingerie shower. We brought Cait, not really thinking through what the gifts were going to be like and what she would think of that. She had the job of bringing the gifts to Angela one by one to open. As Angela opened each present, Cait was starting to figure things out. She said (very loudly, I may add), "Panties AGAIN??" Everyone was cracking up. It was fun to see all the "girls" in my family all together laughing and being silly. Surprising thing? I think my granny's (dad's mom) gift to her was the slinkiest gift of all!!! We all got a kick out of that!
Now Monday was the most eventful day of the whole week. It was the one I was looking forward to the most. Mostly because it was a hurdle that I had to get over. That morning I took the kids to the mall and we did a few exchanges and took care of some mall business (I hate the mall! So inaccessible, it seems!) After that we met Jackie (Chris's mom) and Macie (my niece whom she cares for twice a week) at the mall play area. It was my first time to see them since everything has happened. I felt this explosion of emotions when I saw her. We hugged for a long time and then attempted to make up for lost time. Chris's brother was just engaged a few weeks ago so I got the scoop on all the details. How fun! Th best part is, we talked about real things. We didn't skirt around the issues that were blaring in our faces. We talked about the last 4 months and then the last 5 years. She told me that I would be missed at Thanksgiving and that meant to much to me! .....I'm having a moment..... You know one of those where reality sinks in a little bit more and it hurts. It hurts all over again. They're not my "family" anymore. Isn't that sad?? Divorce is so horribly painful for those who get drug through the mud with you. Anyway....we had a great visit. We actually met up with Aimee, Mikaela and Corey a little bit later and hung out and then went to dinner. I felt like their love for me was not linked to my marriage with their brother/son. They cared for me even though we were no longer married. That is such a blessing!
Tuesday, I went to visit my friend Ashley and her girls. The kids had a good time playing and the mommies just got a chance to catch up. It was fun!
Somewhere in this time Benjamin got his first riding lesson on Hershey, the horse. It was all his idea to want to learn. He brought his boots and hat and was very prepared. I videoed the whole thing and took a bazillion pictures. What a moment! My dad taught him how to stop and turn the horse. I'm a little nervous about the future lesson of starting the horse though. I can just see my super physical son kicking the horse in the side and Hershey bolting off! Well, that's next trip, so I won't worry about that now. However, on lesson number 2 the following day, Hershey stepped in hole and his old knee buckled. Benjamin fell off the horse and landed right on his bottom. Oh was he upset!! He cried and cried...mostly out of fear I think. After he was calm and checked out, my dad put him right back up on the horse with no protest from Benjamin. This was such an important lesson for B, I think. You have to get up when you fall and try again. Don't let fear set in. We talked and talked and talked about it afterwards. He says he plans to ride again at Christmas, so we'll see!
Wednesday the kids and I stayed home and played all morning. We ran around the yard. Benjamin cut through the "forest" with his sword and Cait played in the playhouse. It was a great day of outdoor play, and the kind they just can't get here at home. That night my parents treated us to a special dinner at Pappadeaux's! This kind of made up for the fact that I was missing not one, but 2 of my traditional yummy Thanksgiving feasts. Gosh, I love food! I really do! Anyway, yummy! Thanks mom and dad!
Thursday we went to my uncle Mark's for Thanksgiving. It looked like this: 20 different dishes piled with food, 20 desserts to choose from (you think I'm exaggerating?) guys watching football, kids playing pool with no sticks, the women posing people for a "casual" picture. I got pulled aside more than once and had a family member stick money in my pocket for the kids for Christmas. What a blessing! After lunch everyone went outside. Uncle Mark gave B his first roping lesson. He thought he was a "real cowboy", let me tell you! Can't wait to show you the pictures of that. Then...I got a roping lesson. Not bad, not bad. I love learning new things like that!
After we left Mark's we went to visit granny J in her new 24 hour care place. She looked so much better seeing as how she wasn't so drugged up as before. She has a really nice place there and I hope she'll be happy. Her church comes there and does services. That made her happy! Aimee's church also comes there and Aimee promised to go find granny and sing and play for them. Benjamin had drawn granny a picture of the family for her to hang on her wall. It seems like she's getting settled well. Immediately after our visit I took the kids to meet Chris. They headed for Sugar Land and I headed to Willis to see the Hamms at their parent's house. I thought I was super close, but it took a little longer than anticipated. What a neat family they are...and a blessing! I'm so glad I got to go by. From there I headed straight to Danyel and Ryan's house. We hung out that night and went to bed super early.
On Friday morning D and I went shopping for a few hours. We caught some amazing sales and both almost finished up our Christmas lists!! We headed home, wrapped all of her gifts, cleaned out her baby room closet, got her totally organized and ready for baby Mia. At the end of all of that we were exhausted and feeling pretty productive!! The next morning I got up and started the long trip home to Dallas, where I met Chris and got my babies back!! I missed them!
Long story, I know...but there are some of you that really want to know all these details. So there you go.
One more thing. People I ran into sporadically throughout the trip all seemed to make similar comments about me. Several people told me that I looked like I was at peace, unlike I had been in years. What a confirmation of how I truly feel. And I say this not because I am trying to say what a "strong" person I am. Rather, what a testimony to the grace of God in my life. I should not be at peace right now. If left to myself, I would be a wreck. But no, He didn't leave me to myself. He has showered me with grace. He has shielded me and protected me. He has given me His strength because He knew that I had none of my own. What a loving Lord! I think we all should examine daily, NO!... hourly the unfathomable graces that the Lord gives us each day. If we start to think about it long enough, we should be overwhelmed with a sense of the Father's love for us and the strength of His hand. This should truly fill our heart with thanksgiving. Now we don't have to wait until next November to celebrate our thankfulness to God. We can do it day by day, hour by hour. Lord, help me to do it.
"He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." John Piper
The next morning we all got dressed for church. Benjamin wanted to wear his cowboy boots and hat to church like his Poppa. This was funny to me. He is developing his own interests apart from me. Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful thing to see your child gain independence, but strange to watch them become their own person day by day. Anyway, B looked very handsome and my dad taught him proper hat manners; they took off their hats when they entered the building. Such a blessing to watch B being instructed in "manly" things by my dad. I can really trust that my dad is going to always teach him how to be a "real man" and be a gentleman at the same time!
Sunday afternoon my cousin had a lingerie shower. We brought Cait, not really thinking through what the gifts were going to be like and what she would think of that. She had the job of bringing the gifts to Angela one by one to open. As Angela opened each present, Cait was starting to figure things out. She said (very loudly, I may add), "Panties AGAIN??" Everyone was cracking up. It was fun to see all the "girls" in my family all together laughing and being silly. Surprising thing? I think my granny's (dad's mom) gift to her was the slinkiest gift of all!!! We all got a kick out of that!
Now Monday was the most eventful day of the whole week. It was the one I was looking forward to the most. Mostly because it was a hurdle that I had to get over. That morning I took the kids to the mall and we did a few exchanges and took care of some mall business (I hate the mall! So inaccessible, it seems!) After that we met Jackie (Chris's mom) and Macie (my niece whom she cares for twice a week) at the mall play area. It was my first time to see them since everything has happened. I felt this explosion of emotions when I saw her. We hugged for a long time and then attempted to make up for lost time. Chris's brother was just engaged a few weeks ago so I got the scoop on all the details. How fun! Th best part is, we talked about real things. We didn't skirt around the issues that were blaring in our faces. We talked about the last 4 months and then the last 5 years. She told me that I would be missed at Thanksgiving and that meant to much to me! .....I'm having a moment..... You know one of those where reality sinks in a little bit more and it hurts. It hurts all over again. They're not my "family" anymore. Isn't that sad?? Divorce is so horribly painful for those who get drug through the mud with you. Anyway....we had a great visit. We actually met up with Aimee, Mikaela and Corey a little bit later and hung out and then went to dinner. I felt like their love for me was not linked to my marriage with their brother/son. They cared for me even though we were no longer married. That is such a blessing!
Tuesday, I went to visit my friend Ashley and her girls. The kids had a good time playing and the mommies just got a chance to catch up. It was fun!
Somewhere in this time Benjamin got his first riding lesson on Hershey, the horse. It was all his idea to want to learn. He brought his boots and hat and was very prepared. I videoed the whole thing and took a bazillion pictures. What a moment! My dad taught him how to stop and turn the horse. I'm a little nervous about the future lesson of starting the horse though. I can just see my super physical son kicking the horse in the side and Hershey bolting off! Well, that's next trip, so I won't worry about that now. However, on lesson number 2 the following day, Hershey stepped in hole and his old knee buckled. Benjamin fell off the horse and landed right on his bottom. Oh was he upset!! He cried and cried...mostly out of fear I think. After he was calm and checked out, my dad put him right back up on the horse with no protest from Benjamin. This was such an important lesson for B, I think. You have to get up when you fall and try again. Don't let fear set in. We talked and talked and talked about it afterwards. He says he plans to ride again at Christmas, so we'll see!
Wednesday the kids and I stayed home and played all morning. We ran around the yard. Benjamin cut through the "forest" with his sword and Cait played in the playhouse. It was a great day of outdoor play, and the kind they just can't get here at home. That night my parents treated us to a special dinner at Pappadeaux's! This kind of made up for the fact that I was missing not one, but 2 of my traditional yummy Thanksgiving feasts. Gosh, I love food! I really do! Anyway, yummy! Thanks mom and dad!
Thursday we went to my uncle Mark's for Thanksgiving. It looked like this: 20 different dishes piled with food, 20 desserts to choose from (you think I'm exaggerating?) guys watching football, kids playing pool with no sticks, the women posing people for a "casual" picture. I got pulled aside more than once and had a family member stick money in my pocket for the kids for Christmas. What a blessing! After lunch everyone went outside. Uncle Mark gave B his first roping lesson. He thought he was a "real cowboy", let me tell you! Can't wait to show you the pictures of that. Then...I got a roping lesson. Not bad, not bad. I love learning new things like that!
After we left Mark's we went to visit granny J in her new 24 hour care place. She looked so much better seeing as how she wasn't so drugged up as before. She has a really nice place there and I hope she'll be happy. Her church comes there and does services. That made her happy! Aimee's church also comes there and Aimee promised to go find granny and sing and play for them. Benjamin had drawn granny a picture of the family for her to hang on her wall. It seems like she's getting settled well. Immediately after our visit I took the kids to meet Chris. They headed for Sugar Land and I headed to Willis to see the Hamms at their parent's house. I thought I was super close, but it took a little longer than anticipated. What a neat family they are...and a blessing! I'm so glad I got to go by. From there I headed straight to Danyel and Ryan's house. We hung out that night and went to bed super early.
On Friday morning D and I went shopping for a few hours. We caught some amazing sales and both almost finished up our Christmas lists!! We headed home, wrapped all of her gifts, cleaned out her baby room closet, got her totally organized and ready for baby Mia. At the end of all of that we were exhausted and feeling pretty productive!! The next morning I got up and started the long trip home to Dallas, where I met Chris and got my babies back!! I missed them!
Long story, I know...but there are some of you that really want to know all these details. So there you go.
One more thing. People I ran into sporadically throughout the trip all seemed to make similar comments about me. Several people told me that I looked like I was at peace, unlike I had been in years. What a confirmation of how I truly feel. And I say this not because I am trying to say what a "strong" person I am. Rather, what a testimony to the grace of God in my life. I should not be at peace right now. If left to myself, I would be a wreck. But no, He didn't leave me to myself. He has showered me with grace. He has shielded me and protected me. He has given me His strength because He knew that I had none of my own. What a loving Lord! I think we all should examine daily, NO!... hourly the unfathomable graces that the Lord gives us each day. If we start to think about it long enough, we should be overwhelmed with a sense of the Father's love for us and the strength of His hand. This should truly fill our heart with thanksgiving. Now we don't have to wait until next November to celebrate our thankfulness to God. We can do it day by day, hour by hour. Lord, help me to do it.
"He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." John Piper
We're Home
Well we made it home Saturday afternoon safe and sound. It was a really great trip. It was full of fun things, but not so busy that we couldn't really enjoy our time. Eight days away from home. That's a long trip in my opinion, but I didn't even feel home sick. I came home, glad to be home, but not as glad as I usually have been in the past. I did miss my bed. The kids missed their toys. And I am glad to get right into normal routine again. The next 3 weeks are looming in front of me! They are scary busy. All good things, like making money, Foundations group meeting for the first time in weeks... resuming all our normal things. But, added in the mix is the pressure of not 1, not 2, but 3 Christmas musicals to put on in the next 3 weeks. I am stressed about that to say the least! Pray for me if you think of me that everything will come together in the time allotted. AHHH!
Anyway, the trip was great. I'll give a brief summary of it later today. Right now I have to run because I way over slept this morning. That's something I never do. It might have something to do with the fact that I couldn't fall asleep last night until 1:30 and then my alarm was set for 5:00. Not enough sleep. So, I kept hitting snooze until like 6:20. I still have plenty of time for the necessities, but not everything I wanted to accomplish this morning!
Anyway, have a great Monday everyone. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving holiday with your family. Can't wait to hear about it!
Anyway, the trip was great. I'll give a brief summary of it later today. Right now I have to run because I way over slept this morning. That's something I never do. It might have something to do with the fact that I couldn't fall asleep last night until 1:30 and then my alarm was set for 5:00. Not enough sleep. So, I kept hitting snooze until like 6:20. I still have plenty of time for the necessities, but not everything I wanted to accomplish this morning!
Anyway, have a great Monday everyone. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving holiday with your family. Can't wait to hear about it!
November 16, 2006
Recovering
Well, that is something I guess I will be in a perpetual state of for the next months/years to come...yes. But mainly I am recovering from strep. It hurt. It still hurts mildly. It is such a wonderful feeling when you start feeling like yourself again, only skinnier because you haven't eaten in almost a week (bonus!) Anyway, the kids and I went to Blue Ivy today and got home earlier than planned. We had lunch, the kids played and I got to talk to Mindy on the phone while she was in the car (best mommy talk time!). Mindy is scheduled to give birth to her 5th bundle of joy on Monday morning. Unfortunately I won't be able to blog about it then because I'll be in the country where the internet is too ssssllllloooooowwww! That's okay. No offense mom and dad. It will be kind of freeing not to have to check my e-mail 77 times a day or worry about my next "interesting" blog posting (that's a stretch, I know!) . I will just get to look forward to coming home next Saturday to a full inbox and multiple blogs to check. I'll feel so far behind! Once again, that's okay.
So here's the plan, we leave tomorrow right after Blue Ivy. We get to Tomball in time for dinner. Danyel and Eli stay the night with us at mom and dad's. Fun. Then Saturday and Sunday we help get my grandmother moved in a situated into her new place...in a nursing home. She doesn't know that this is where she is going. She will be very upset when she finds out. However, she needs 24 hour care now that both of her legs are going to be in a cast for the next 3 months! She'll need help with everything!!! Sunday my cousin is having a lingerie shower and we're all attending. Then Monday, we're thinking about the museum and the mall to ride the carousel. Tuesday I get together with my friend Ashley and her kiddos! YAY! Ashley is my friend from high school. She has 3 little girls that are adorable! Can't wait. Then, Wednesday I am going to Chris's sister's house (Aimee) to visit with her, my nieces and Jackie (Chris' mom). It will be good to see them. I haven't seen them in months. Wednesday night we are celebrating Thanksgiving with my granny in her new place. We're just going to bring in dinner from somewhere. Weird. No granny's dressing for Thanksgiving. No potato salad (with absolutely NO mustard), no homemade apple pie, or fudge pie, or chocolate cream pie. I like pie. I'm depressed already thinking about it. First of many years to come where things won't be the same. Let me stop and say, yes! My mom is a great cook too, but she's never done the main cooking for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Granny has always done it. That's the way it has always been and the way I wanted it always to be. Unfortunately, things change. Change is hard. Too much change right now.
off to him. it really is going to be okay, I know. But it's hard thinking about it. No Then...Thursday we are meeting my dad's family at his brother Mark's house for lunch. This will be fun and fattening. I have a loud and obnoxious extended family. We all kind of play off each other. Thank God no one drinks, because it would really be wild if you threw in that factor! Thursday afternoon I will meet Chris on I-45 somewhere and pass Benjamin and Cait off to him. It's so sad. Do you know what this means? No more Perkinson Thanksgiving meal for me!!! Chris's mom is an excellent cook and I love everything on their traditional Thanksgiving spread. I'm especially fond of sweet potato crunch and strawberry jello salad. *sigh* Man, I really should loose some weight with all this change happening in my life. Less food.
Good news! Thanksgiving night I am going back to Ryan and Danyel's to stay with them for a few nights. I get to help set up baby Mia's bedding and help care for Eli while Danyel gets some things done. We're gonna try to throw a little shopping in there too!
Long story. Long trip. I can't wait. I'm packing several mini-projects for while I'm there. I'm hoping to make it fun and productive!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Talk to you when we get back!
"Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth!
Serve the LORD with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!
So here's the plan, we leave tomorrow right after Blue Ivy. We get to Tomball in time for dinner. Danyel and Eli stay the night with us at mom and dad's. Fun. Then Saturday and Sunday we help get my grandmother moved in a situated into her new place...in a nursing home. She doesn't know that this is where she is going. She will be very upset when she finds out. However, she needs 24 hour care now that both of her legs are going to be in a cast for the next 3 months! She'll need help with everything!!! Sunday my cousin is having a lingerie shower and we're all attending. Then Monday, we're thinking about the museum and the mall to ride the carousel. Tuesday I get together with my friend Ashley and her kiddos! YAY! Ashley is my friend from high school. She has 3 little girls that are adorable! Can't wait. Then, Wednesday I am going to Chris's sister's house (Aimee) to visit with her, my nieces and Jackie (Chris' mom). It will be good to see them. I haven't seen them in months. Wednesday night we are celebrating Thanksgiving with my granny in her new place. We're just going to bring in dinner from somewhere. Weird. No granny's dressing for Thanksgiving. No potato salad (with absolutely NO mustard), no homemade apple pie, or fudge pie, or chocolate cream pie. I like pie. I'm depressed already thinking about it. First of many years to come where things won't be the same. Let me stop and say, yes! My mom is a great cook too, but she's never done the main cooking for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Granny has always done it. That's the way it has always been and the way I wanted it always to be. Unfortunately, things change. Change is hard. Too much change right now.
off to him. it really is going to be okay, I know. But it's hard thinking about it. No Then...Thursday we are meeting my dad's family at his brother Mark's house for lunch. This will be fun and fattening. I have a loud and obnoxious extended family. We all kind of play off each other. Thank God no one drinks, because it would really be wild if you threw in that factor! Thursday afternoon I will meet Chris on I-45 somewhere and pass Benjamin and Cait off to him. It's so sad. Do you know what this means? No more Perkinson Thanksgiving meal for me!!! Chris's mom is an excellent cook and I love everything on their traditional Thanksgiving spread. I'm especially fond of sweet potato crunch and strawberry jello salad. *sigh* Man, I really should loose some weight with all this change happening in my life. Less food.
Good news! Thanksgiving night I am going back to Ryan and Danyel's to stay with them for a few nights. I get to help set up baby Mia's bedding and help care for Eli while Danyel gets some things done. We're gonna try to throw a little shopping in there too!
Long story. Long trip. I can't wait. I'm packing several mini-projects for while I'm there. I'm hoping to make it fun and productive!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Talk to you when we get back!
"Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth!
Serve the LORD with gladness!
Come into his presence with singing!
Know that the LORD, he is God!
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!
For the LORD is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations."
Psalm 100
November 14, 2006
Vomit and Nice Guys
I'm having a brief moment of energy, so I thought I should post a little something. I was so blessed to have my old college roommate, Lori and her two youngest kids come to visit this weekend. We had such a great time visiting, letting the kids play and letting ourselves make some fun cards to give away. Lori is very creative and led Kat and I through the project like an expert.
Sunday was a tough day at church. It was my last meeting with the discipline committee. They wanted to meet with me before they met with Chris that afternoon. It was hard and emotional, but it brought the weirdest sense of closure for me. I feel very relieved that that part is behind me now. That afternoon after I passed the kids off to Chris, I started to feel not so hot. I had a sore throat and my whole body ached. OH NO! I can't have the flu! I've had a flu shot already. Well, sure enough in the middle of the night I started to throw up. I continued in this fun up and down pattern all night long. I got very little sleep. The next morning I called to cancel all my classes. Do you know what Chris did? You're not going to believe it. He took a personal sick day so that he could care for the kids for me all day up until bedtime. I was able to rest in bed and catch up on my missed sleep. Not only that, he brought the kids to the house that morning to see me. They brought me hot tea, Tylenol and flowers. Sweet huh?
Well, I'm thinkin' that the worst is over, right? Well...not at all. My throat got worse and worse to the point where it felt as if it were swelling shut. I was so blessed to get a dr. appt this morning with Dr. Cindy. Just as I feared! Strep throat! I haven't had strep throat in years and years. Man, does it hurt!!
Dr. Cindy sweetly hooked me up with all my meds right there in the office, even some medication for pain. That should do it! If you think about me, pray that tomorrow morning when I wake up I will feel well and full of enough energy to go teach my short little classes. I plan on being super cautious not to touch the kids. Chris and I already had planned for him to have the kids all day so that that could be his make-up time for not seeing them this upcoming weekend. I'll probably have to rush home after I teach and fall in the bed.
Stay well all of you out there! I wouldn't wish this on anyone! I plan to post tomorrow or the next day about our fun fall party that I hosted last week. Sooooo fun!
Sunday was a tough day at church. It was my last meeting with the discipline committee. They wanted to meet with me before they met with Chris that afternoon. It was hard and emotional, but it brought the weirdest sense of closure for me. I feel very relieved that that part is behind me now. That afternoon after I passed the kids off to Chris, I started to feel not so hot. I had a sore throat and my whole body ached. OH NO! I can't have the flu! I've had a flu shot already. Well, sure enough in the middle of the night I started to throw up. I continued in this fun up and down pattern all night long. I got very little sleep. The next morning I called to cancel all my classes. Do you know what Chris did? You're not going to believe it. He took a personal sick day so that he could care for the kids for me all day up until bedtime. I was able to rest in bed and catch up on my missed sleep. Not only that, he brought the kids to the house that morning to see me. They brought me hot tea, Tylenol and flowers. Sweet huh?
Well, I'm thinkin' that the worst is over, right? Well...not at all. My throat got worse and worse to the point where it felt as if it were swelling shut. I was so blessed to get a dr. appt this morning with Dr. Cindy. Just as I feared! Strep throat! I haven't had strep throat in years and years. Man, does it hurt!!
Dr. Cindy sweetly hooked me up with all my meds right there in the office, even some medication for pain. That should do it! If you think about me, pray that tomorrow morning when I wake up I will feel well and full of enough energy to go teach my short little classes. I plan on being super cautious not to touch the kids. Chris and I already had planned for him to have the kids all day so that that could be his make-up time for not seeing them this upcoming weekend. I'll probably have to rush home after I teach and fall in the bed.
Stay well all of you out there! I wouldn't wish this on anyone! I plan to post tomorrow or the next day about our fun fall party that I hosted last week. Sooooo fun!
November 12, 2006
Be Still, My Soul
Be still my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Thro' thorny ways lads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: they God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Thro' thorny ways lads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: they God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
November 09, 2006
It is my cup; It is my portion
My dear friend Amber loaned me a book over the weekend. I picked it up today because I was having one of "those" days. Let's see...I got some new and hurtful information, I cried all morning, I feel dog tired and Cait cried today when I left her in her classroom. She "wanted me because she loved me." Heartbreaking. And all of this was before 8:30am. What a start! After we got to school, I kicked into teacher gear and worked on auto-pilot for the next 3 hours. Then when we got in the car I heard one of the Valley of Vision songs and I started crying all over again. I always think I'm a sneaky crier, ya know? Sunglasses on, music up loud, kids behind me can't see me, discretely wipe the tears. You get the picture. Well, today we were almost home and Benjamin said out of nowhere..."Mommy, why do you cry a lot?" Heart stopped. Want to cry more. Compose self. Answer in calm voice, "Everybody is sad sometimes aren't they buddy?"
Sooo, all this to say it started out as another hard Thursday. Then I picked up the book. It is titled, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I was so moved by the introduction that I have decided to post little bits and pieces of it here for your encouragement as well. I was sad this morning fighting to trust God and keep my eyes on Him, but what I read from Mrs. Dillow today helped me focus in on what I was lacking. I was lacking contentment and peace. I think the two go hand in hand. Here's some of what she said:
She discusses hard times that people have to endure and she asks how we can be content in the midst of tough, tough times. She told of a missionary woman who had this list of guidelines for herself to help her be more content. They put me to shame and overwhelmed me!
This contentment happens on the inside. It is NOT dependent on our outward circumstances, feelings or on other people! "Contentment is a state of heart, not a state of affairs."
We have to rely on God to give us strength to be content. He has to infuse it into us. She translates Philippians 4:13 to say, "I am strong for all things in the One who constantly infuses strength in me." She gave the illustration of us as a cup of hot water. Christ is the tea bag. The longer we allow it to steep , the more infused we become with His strength and His character. The stronger we become.
Here are two awesome verses she memorized and I want to as well.
"God...is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters." I Timothy 6:15
Who controls my life? God. What kind of a controller is He? Blessed.
J.I. Packer said, "Contentment is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand what He sends because we know that He is good and therefore it is good."
YES!!! I HAVE to believe this! I have to soak in this truth so that I won't let discouragement take over.
Second verse, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure." Psalm 16:5
Here's what Elizabeth Elliott says about this verse...
"I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us that do not belong to our lovingly assigned 'portion' (This belongs to it, that does not)? Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion, other options are cancelled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes much inexpressibly quieter. A quiet heart is content with what God gives."
So there you have it. It is so clear. When I am sad about my portion, I need to cry out to God and ask Him to help me embrace it. Help me have the strength to not wish that my assignment were a different one. Help me find peace in knowing that this cup, be it a bitter one, is for His glory. Help me desire my own sanctification and His glory through that more than I desire my relief from the pain, and more than I desire my comfort and easy, trouble-free life. Help me be like Christ who "grasped the handle of His cup and lifted it to God and said, 'I accept my portion. Infuse me with Your strength that I may drink.'"
It was so good for me to type all this out. It helped me process it yet again. I hope you will have found something encouraging as well to make the long read worthwhile.
Sooo, all this to say it started out as another hard Thursday. Then I picked up the book. It is titled, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I was so moved by the introduction that I have decided to post little bits and pieces of it here for your encouragement as well. I was sad this morning fighting to trust God and keep my eyes on Him, but what I read from Mrs. Dillow today helped me focus in on what I was lacking. I was lacking contentment and peace. I think the two go hand in hand. Here's some of what she said:
She discusses hard times that people have to endure and she asks how we can be content in the midst of tough, tough times. She told of a missionary woman who had this list of guidelines for herself to help her be more content. They put me to shame and overwhelmed me!
- Never allow yourself to complain about anything-not even the weather
- Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
- Never compare our lot with another's
- Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
- Never dwell on tomorrow-remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.
This contentment happens on the inside. It is NOT dependent on our outward circumstances, feelings or on other people! "Contentment is a state of heart, not a state of affairs."
We have to rely on God to give us strength to be content. He has to infuse it into us. She translates Philippians 4:13 to say, "I am strong for all things in the One who constantly infuses strength in me." She gave the illustration of us as a cup of hot water. Christ is the tea bag. The longer we allow it to steep , the more infused we become with His strength and His character. The stronger we become.
Here are two awesome verses she memorized and I want to as well.
"God...is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters." I Timothy 6:15
Who controls my life? God. What kind of a controller is He? Blessed.
J.I. Packer said, "Contentment is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand what He sends because we know that He is good and therefore it is good."
YES!!! I HAVE to believe this! I have to soak in this truth so that I won't let discouragement take over.
Second verse, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure." Psalm 16:5
Here's what Elizabeth Elliott says about this verse...
"I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us that do not belong to our lovingly assigned 'portion' (This belongs to it, that does not)? Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion, other options are cancelled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes much inexpressibly quieter. A quiet heart is content with what God gives."
So there you have it. It is so clear. When I am sad about my portion, I need to cry out to God and ask Him to help me embrace it. Help me have the strength to not wish that my assignment were a different one. Help me find peace in knowing that this cup, be it a bitter one, is for His glory. Help me desire my own sanctification and His glory through that more than I desire my relief from the pain, and more than I desire my comfort and easy, trouble-free life. Help me be like Christ who "grasped the handle of His cup and lifted it to God and said, 'I accept my portion. Infuse me with Your strength that I may drink.'"
It was so good for me to type all this out. It helped me process it yet again. I hope you will have found something encouraging as well to make the long read worthwhile.
November 07, 2006
The Retreat
Pine Cove, the Bluffs in Tyler, Texas. We had our First Baptist Church of Parker's Ladies Retreat this weekend. We had so much fun! Words cannot describe how much I looked forward to it and how much it met and exceeded my expectations.
During some free time on Saturday, we hiked up to the highest peak in the county. Here is a picture of our view. There are glimpses of fall there, unlike here in Dallas.
Here is Julie and her mom Mary. We were blessed to have Mary at the retreat with us. She lives in Tyler, so it was very convenient for her to pop on over. I hope her coming to the Ladies Retreat will be a new tradition!
Kat played the piano for me this weekend while I led the music. Jenni played the guitar for us the other half of the weekend. Here we are diligently rehearsing some of the newer songs we were attempting to teach everyone.
Here we are rehearsing not seriously at all!! We were being rather obnoxious, I'm sure! Oh well, it was fun and no one was harmed, so I guess it's all good, huh?
Here is some of the gang at the top of the peak. We stopped for a photo opp!
Tamra, Jenna, Jenni, Julie and Amber.
Amber doesn't go to our church either. She lives way over in Crowley, Texas. So close, yet so far away. We are SOOOOO glad you came Amber!!! We love you! Thanks for letting me hog you for another year as my roommate. Can't wait till next year!
On the way home, we stopped in Canton. That was tons of fun. I got a few small things that I had been looking for. I got a corn dog and a cherry limeade. All was well with the world! I was missing my babies something awful come Sunday afternoon, but I survived until Monday when I finally got to see them! Yay for refreshment and fun times! Yay for friends...especially the kind that love you so much that they sharpen you and point you back to the Savior again and again!
During some free time on Saturday, we hiked up to the highest peak in the county. Here is a picture of our view. There are glimpses of fall there, unlike here in Dallas.
Here is Julie and her mom Mary. We were blessed to have Mary at the retreat with us. She lives in Tyler, so it was very convenient for her to pop on over. I hope her coming to the Ladies Retreat will be a new tradition!
Kat played the piano for me this weekend while I led the music. Jenni played the guitar for us the other half of the weekend. Here we are diligently rehearsing some of the newer songs we were attempting to teach everyone.
Here we are rehearsing not seriously at all!! We were being rather obnoxious, I'm sure! Oh well, it was fun and no one was harmed, so I guess it's all good, huh?
Here is some of the gang at the top of the peak. We stopped for a photo opp!
Tamra, Jenna, Jenni, Julie and Amber.
Amber doesn't go to our church either. She lives way over in Crowley, Texas. So close, yet so far away. We are SOOOOO glad you came Amber!!! We love you! Thanks for letting me hog you for another year as my roommate. Can't wait till next year!
On the way home, we stopped in Canton. That was tons of fun. I got a few small things that I had been looking for. I got a corn dog and a cherry limeade. All was well with the world! I was missing my babies something awful come Sunday afternoon, but I survived until Monday when I finally got to see them! Yay for refreshment and fun times! Yay for friends...especially the kind that love you so much that they sharpen you and point you back to the Savior again and again!
Broke the 1,000 mark!
This is very exciting and I'm sure you couldn't care less, but...my counter map thingy this morning said that I have had 1088 visitors to my blog since Oct 24th when I added the counter. Pretty cool, huh? I'm sure people just keep checking back in hopes I'll say something profound...sorry to disappoint you. I'm not very deep. I just hang around people who are...in hopes it will rub off on me (sound familiar Amber?)
I hope everyone has a blessed day today! I had a wonderful weekend at my Ladies Retreat and I'll try to post some pictures tonight. It was exactly what I needed after such a long, hard week.
My granny's surgery was postponed to today, so I will let you know also how that turns out. Thanks for praying.
I know you know it by heart, but read it again and be encouraged...and comforted.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
I hope everyone has a blessed day today! I had a wonderful weekend at my Ladies Retreat and I'll try to post some pictures tonight. It was exactly what I needed after such a long, hard week.
My granny's surgery was postponed to today, so I will let you know also how that turns out. Thanks for praying.
I know you know it by heart, but read it again and be encouraged...and comforted.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
Psalm 23
November 06, 2006
Please pray
My sweet granny J (my mom's mom) is having surgery today. Yesterday when coming home from church, she fell in the lobby of her Assisted Living Facility. She broke both of her legs. One above the knee and the other below the knee. She also had a diabetic "attack" if you will, at the same time. She was shaking and in a lot of pain. Some of the nurses thought she was having a seizure, but it was just that her blood sugar was dangerously low. They have her stabilized in the hospital now, but she will have to have surgery on one of the legs today. She is still not recovered from when she broke her hip and wrist last year. This is actually broken bones #6 and #7 in the last 2-3 years. She keeps having spills. It is so sad and hard to watch. My poor mom had to miss my sister's baby shower yesterday to take her to the emergency room. My mom is so used to that scene. So as you read this would you say a little prayer for Katherine (my granny) that she would come out of the surgery okay today. There's always a lot of risks putting an older person "under" when they have so many other health issues. And for my mom that she and dad would have grace to endure this road and the wisdom to know where to place my granny that will best for her. Thank you!
FYI- the kids and Chris made it home safely in the rain last night. I don't think I've ever been more nervous and concerned as I was last night. It was raining and late. I asked Chris to call me when they were tucked away safely in their beds so I could finally sleep. He called about midnight. I can't wait to see them this morning!!! Too long without my babies!! I'll tell you about my weekend later. Thanks for the prayers!
FYI- the kids and Chris made it home safely in the rain last night. I don't think I've ever been more nervous and concerned as I was last night. It was raining and late. I asked Chris to call me when they were tucked away safely in their beds so I could finally sleep. He called about midnight. I can't wait to see them this morning!!! Too long without my babies!! I'll tell you about my weekend later. Thanks for the prayers!
November 05, 2006
May the Force Be With You!
Here are my sweeties! They dressed up this year as Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia. How fun is that? One day when we had been putting Benjamin's costume together he looked at me and said, "Mom, why are you dressing me up like this?" It was so funny...like I was torturing him or something. So I told him that at this time of year people like to dress up in fun costumes and go to fall parties and carnivals. It's just silly and fun. So he replied, "That is SO cool!" He was all into after that...especially when he realized fall festivals consisted of candy, cake walks, candy, games, candy, bounce houses and more candy. He was sold!!
Here are some pictures of them on Tuesday night before we left for a fall festival. They had such a great time, and I did too! It will go down in the memory hall of fame, I think! Thanks Kat for inviting us.
May the Force be with you!!
Princess Leia
Luke Skywalker
What an arm! Throwing the ball and knocking down the milk bottles for a prize and too much candy. Don't tell my kids, but all that candy is not "all gone" rather it made it's way to the ladies retreat and sadly didn't find its way back to our house! Hee Hee! Hey, if I kept it here, I might have to go next year as Joba the Hut!
Fun times!!
Here are some pictures of them on Tuesday night before we left for a fall festival. They had such a great time, and I did too! It will go down in the memory hall of fame, I think! Thanks Kat for inviting us.
May the Force be with you!!
Princess Leia
Luke Skywalker
What an arm! Throwing the ball and knocking down the milk bottles for a prize and too much candy. Don't tell my kids, but all that candy is not "all gone" rather it made it's way to the ladies retreat and sadly didn't find its way back to our house! Hee Hee! Hey, if I kept it here, I might have to go next year as Joba the Hut!
Fun times!!
November 03, 2006
Funny
Benjamin - after lunch was given a package of "Smarties" as his treat. He looked at me and asked the inevitable question that all 4 year olds want to ask about Smarties. "Mommy, do they make you smart?"
Cait - called me to come hurry and look at her door. She pointed to a little tiny speck on the door, pretty low down. She said, "Mommy, I think that is runny nose." I think she was right. It looked like a dried booger! Guess I better up the cleaning around here, huh?
The kids LOVED going to school today. They were so anxious to get in the door... like they were going to miss out on something!! Thank you, Lord!
Cait - called me to come hurry and look at her door. She pointed to a little tiny speck on the door, pretty low down. She said, "Mommy, I think that is runny nose." I think she was right. It looked like a dried booger! Guess I better up the cleaning around here, huh?
The kids LOVED going to school today. They were so anxious to get in the door... like they were going to miss out on something!! Thank you, Lord!
The Weekend
Well, today the girls and I are off to Pine Cove Camp in Tyler, Texas for a little R and R. Well that's not all, but R and R is what I need to get some of this weekend, for sure. Our First Baptist Church of Parker's Ladies Retreat is this weekend. We're all so excited! It's not very often that moms can get away for the whole weekend, with no children and focus on God and growing friendships. It's going to be like an all weekend slumber party...at least it was last year.
Today, 6 of us girls are meeting at Julie's house. Julie, Jenni, Amber, me, Jennifer and Jenna. We are caravaning up to Tyler, but stopping in Canton on the way for a little shopping excursion. Too much fun! I have a whole morning of teaching ahead of me first before I get too excited, so I guess I better focus.
I have to come up with a Christmas program for 2 year olds, 3 year olds and then put together a play for 4 and 5 year olds. AHH! Not to mention I have 5 weeks left to pull it together! It's so hard to plan a "Christmas" program that NOTHING to do with Christ! I mean, what? Santa? Elves? Talk about empty and meaningless. At least I get to take my kids home and tell them again and again what Christmas is really about. They really only know who Santa is. They don't know the whole, "bringing toys down the chimney thing" or elves, reindeer, Rudolph stuff. So anyway...off I go to sing about working in Santa's shop! Bluh!
My kids are going out of town this weekend with Chris. He is taking them to his parent's house in Sugar Land. I know they will have fun. I know they will be loved on and cared for...but it's still going to be hard for me. As a mommy, it's hard to let them get too far away without you. If you think of us this weekend, pray for my kids safe travel there and back. Pray also that I will be at peace this weekend and be able to soak up all that's being taught. I also look so forward to growing in some new relationships and strengthening some old ones!! Talk to you when we get back. I hope you have a great weekend too!
Today, 6 of us girls are meeting at Julie's house. Julie, Jenni, Amber, me, Jennifer and Jenna. We are caravaning up to Tyler, but stopping in Canton on the way for a little shopping excursion. Too much fun! I have a whole morning of teaching ahead of me first before I get too excited, so I guess I better focus.
I have to come up with a Christmas program for 2 year olds, 3 year olds and then put together a play for 4 and 5 year olds. AHH! Not to mention I have 5 weeks left to pull it together! It's so hard to plan a "Christmas" program that NOTHING to do with Christ! I mean, what? Santa? Elves? Talk about empty and meaningless. At least I get to take my kids home and tell them again and again what Christmas is really about. They really only know who Santa is. They don't know the whole, "bringing toys down the chimney thing" or elves, reindeer, Rudolph stuff. So anyway...off I go to sing about working in Santa's shop! Bluh!
My kids are going out of town this weekend with Chris. He is taking them to his parent's house in Sugar Land. I know they will have fun. I know they will be loved on and cared for...but it's still going to be hard for me. As a mommy, it's hard to let them get too far away without you. If you think of us this weekend, pray for my kids safe travel there and back. Pray also that I will be at peace this weekend and be able to soak up all that's being taught. I also look so forward to growing in some new relationships and strengthening some old ones!! Talk to you when we get back. I hope you have a great weekend too!
November 02, 2006
The disappearing "r"
Last night I was sad to go to sleep. I couldn't really settle down. I lacked peace. I started quoting verses to myself about fear and trust in the Lord.
Finally, I drifted off to sleep.
The reason I lacked peace last night is because I knew this morning when I woke up I would have lost something. I knew that somewhere in the middle of the night I would loose an "r". I would go from a "Mrs." to a "Ms." Very depressing. To add to this, when I woke up, I was so tired. I did not want to get out of bed. Have you ever been so tired that you were nauseous? Yeah, that was today. I was starting a new job today!!! What was I thinking? Who starts a new job the day after their divorce is final? I should've taken the day off, right? Well, God is good. He knew what I needed. Sitting home in my pj's like a frump thinking about how my life is sad right now is NOT what I needed to do today. To add to my bummed mood, I had to wake my kids up, dress them, feed them and bundle them up, all in a manner that would not convey that I was rushing them. We went to the new school (which only took me 15 minutes instead of 30 like I planned..WooHoo!) and I prayed that the kids would be happy to go in their class and not be sad when mommy left them with a room full of strangers. They did great. *sheew*
In their new classes they played outside, colored, played in centers, had music class :-) and even ate lunch. When I picked them up they seemed very happy with their day. Talk about a blessing for their old mom!
My music classes today were full and many (11 total), but it was a good first day. Tomorrow will be even better, I bet. God has given this job to me for this season. When I see His goodness in the middle of all this chaos, I have hope. I have hope knowing that MY God will supply all my needs. He will not withhold any good gift from His children. I am His child. And He is taking care of me. I may not have wanted to start this day, but it has ended up pretty great. Thanks to Him. I'm just so grateful that He has given me a job where I only have to work half of a day and I get to bring my kids with me.
So here's the weekly schedule for those that care:
Monday - 3 Kindermusik classes (it will be 5 starting in the Spring)
Tuesday - Children's Park music and then 2 Kindermusik classes
Wednesday - Children's Park (and then 1 Kindermusik class starting in the Spring)
Thursday- Blue Ivy (new school)
Friday- Blue Ivy
I've been trying to post Fall Festival pics all afternoon and had no luck. Boo! I will persevere, however, so stayed tuned!
Finally, I drifted off to sleep.
The reason I lacked peace last night is because I knew this morning when I woke up I would have lost something. I knew that somewhere in the middle of the night I would loose an "r". I would go from a "Mrs." to a "Ms." Very depressing. To add to this, when I woke up, I was so tired. I did not want to get out of bed. Have you ever been so tired that you were nauseous? Yeah, that was today. I was starting a new job today!!! What was I thinking? Who starts a new job the day after their divorce is final? I should've taken the day off, right? Well, God is good. He knew what I needed. Sitting home in my pj's like a frump thinking about how my life is sad right now is NOT what I needed to do today. To add to my bummed mood, I had to wake my kids up, dress them, feed them and bundle them up, all in a manner that would not convey that I was rushing them. We went to the new school (which only took me 15 minutes instead of 30 like I planned..WooHoo!) and I prayed that the kids would be happy to go in their class and not be sad when mommy left them with a room full of strangers. They did great. *sheew*
In their new classes they played outside, colored, played in centers, had music class :-) and even ate lunch. When I picked them up they seemed very happy with their day. Talk about a blessing for their old mom!
My music classes today were full and many (11 total), but it was a good first day. Tomorrow will be even better, I bet. God has given this job to me for this season. When I see His goodness in the middle of all this chaos, I have hope. I have hope knowing that MY God will supply all my needs. He will not withhold any good gift from His children. I am His child. And He is taking care of me. I may not have wanted to start this day, but it has ended up pretty great. Thanks to Him. I'm just so grateful that He has given me a job where I only have to work half of a day and I get to bring my kids with me.
So here's the weekly schedule for those that care:
Monday - 3 Kindermusik classes (it will be 5 starting in the Spring)
Tuesday - Children's Park music and then 2 Kindermusik classes
Wednesday - Children's Park (and then 1 Kindermusik class starting in the Spring)
Thursday- Blue Ivy (new school)
Friday- Blue Ivy
I've been trying to post Fall Festival pics all afternoon and had no luck. Boo! I will persevere, however, so stayed tuned!
November 01, 2006
so much
So much has happened since my last post. First of all, my internet has been down since Sunday. Just taking a second to update on a friend's computer. Thanks for your prayers. This has been a sad, sad day. I cried the whole way to the courthouse and then it took 2 whole minutes to undo 8 years of marriage. The judge took the stand at 9:05 and I was in my car at 9:15.
Is this really happening?
God has poured out grace on me this week. I had a job interview for a second school to teach music. I got the position and start tomorrow. I'm grateful and so sad all at the same time. Five days a week away from home and my kids.
I'll tell you more later. I'll be on our church's Ladies Retreat this weekend and then my internet should be back up by Sunday (or so they say).
Thank you again for all the encouragement and prayers.
Is this really happening?
God has poured out grace on me this week. I had a job interview for a second school to teach music. I got the position and start tomorrow. I'm grateful and so sad all at the same time. Five days a week away from home and my kids.
I'll tell you more later. I'll be on our church's Ladies Retreat this weekend and then my internet should be back up by Sunday (or so they say).
Thank you again for all the encouragement and prayers.
October 27, 2006
5 More Days
Just got the call. 8:30 on Wednesday morning I am meeting my lawyer at the Collin County courthouse to finalize my divorce.
To say that I'm having mixed emotions is an understatement. How are you supposed to feel? Sad? Relieved? Happy to have closure? Remorse? Mourning for a great loss? Yes. I suppose all of them are natural and right in this situation. Just pray that I will have peace. Thanks.
Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."
To say that I'm having mixed emotions is an understatement. How are you supposed to feel? Sad? Relieved? Happy to have closure? Remorse? Mourning for a great loss? Yes. I suppose all of them are natural and right in this situation. Just pray that I will have peace. Thanks.
Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."
October 24, 2006
Fun New Addition!
You know, I am the kind of girl that likes to be somewhat up with the times. I usually get with the program, but I always seem to be behind most. It takes me much longer to get with it. Thanks to Amber I now have a cluster map on my blog. I've always been interested in knowing how many people actually read this thing. You know, you write and wonder who will even ever read what you have to say. But don't worry...I can't see who you are, just the general location of someone who read my blog. So guess what? If I have a dot in Maryland I bet I'll know it's MINDY! Or a dot that looks like it's in Tennessee, I bet I'll know it's Christi! YAY!
Check it out. All you have to do is click on the map and you can see for yourself!
Check it out. All you have to do is click on the map and you can see for yourself!
October 23, 2006
A sweet girl from my church wrote to encourage me last week. I've posted one of the verses that she sent me to read and consider. This sweet girl is a senior in high school and yet so much older than that in her faith, it seems. She has been one of many at my church that have blessed me and encouraged me beyond measure. And just to think, their blessings toward me can't even compare to the blessings that God has poured out on me.
"Hallelujah, What a Savior!"
Psalm 71:14-15 "But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise You more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of Your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure."
"Hallelujah, What a Savior!"
Psalm 71:14-15 "But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise You more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of Your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure."
October 20, 2006
Blessed by my guests
Well, my sister had to leave Thursday afternoon to head back home. This was very sad for me and the kids. She is probably the only person I can think of that could stay with me for a solid week and me not be tired of her and ready for her to give me some space. She's my sister and I feel more comfortable with her than even the best of my friends. Danyel was such a blessing to me while she was here. She challenges me, you know. "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Romans 12:10 She is the picture of this verse to me. She makes me want to try and "outdo" her in blessings. Thursday morning (I was SO tired and have been for about 2 weeks) she snuck in my room early that morning and turned off the baby monitors that pipe into my kids' rooms. She got up with all three kids and fed them breakfast, letting me catch a little more sleep. Every time we ate somewhere during the week a huge "close to blows" fight would break out over who was going to pay for the other. We both wanted to bless each other. For me, I had been blessed by her and Ryan so much over the weekend, I was trying to even the score a little. Her motivation was much purer than mine, I'm sure. I love my sister (even if she hates my clothes! :-)) and love to behold the godly woman that she has become. Talk about blessing! Just watching is blessing enough. So yes, she challenges me to be kinder, more generous, more thoughtful and less seeking of recognition from others. When she drove away, I was left thinking, "I wonder how soon she can come back?"
I was encouraged to know that even though my sister had to leave that my dear friend Amber was coming with her cuties for a slumber party that same afternoon! What fun times! The kids really surprised us. Guess what? Mary Alice no longer wanted to be Benjamin's playmate. She wanted to be Cait's! I guess Cait is growing up and the gap in age between these guys is closing in. It was funny to see them all interact. Mary Alice and Cait dressed up and played with their babies. The boys tried to get the girls's attention with their swords! Just like a male, huh? After bedtime Amber and I had such a great visit. I think I did most of the talking, unfortunately. But any words that Amber did get in to the conversation were so very encouraging! Encouragement is definitely one of her gifts. She has many, let me assure you, but encouragement is at the top on her list. I went to bed feeling so hopeful about what the Lord is doing and my future being in His hands. One thing that we did is we looked through the hymnal that was sitting on my kitchen counter. We were looking for songs for the ladies retreat (I'm helping with the music). She and I were pointing out our favorite hymns and we had so much fun singing them. Kind of silly, but really such a blessing to be singing these truths about God with a sister in the Lord who is so like-minded with you. Such a joy.
Blessing upon blessing. That is how I describe my life right now. My God has poured out His comfort, His peace and His love on me day after day. And He has used some sweet ladies in my life to be His instruments in many cases. Thank you Lord. Thank you for not forgetting about me. Thank you for loving a sinner like me. I am in no way deserving of the salvation I have from my sin. In NO way. But even on top of that you have poured out your lavish blessings on me. You have given me gifts that cannot have a price. They are valued far beyond any tag you could place on them. Please help me to see your hand in everything. Please help me to seek you earnestly and not value the gifts you have given me more than I value YOU! You, oh Lord are my very great reward! (Gen 15:1) Help me to seek you as a prize that is better than all others. Help me to be fully and completely satisfied in You.
I was encouraged to know that even though my sister had to leave that my dear friend Amber was coming with her cuties for a slumber party that same afternoon! What fun times! The kids really surprised us. Guess what? Mary Alice no longer wanted to be Benjamin's playmate. She wanted to be Cait's! I guess Cait is growing up and the gap in age between these guys is closing in. It was funny to see them all interact. Mary Alice and Cait dressed up and played with their babies. The boys tried to get the girls's attention with their swords! Just like a male, huh? After bedtime Amber and I had such a great visit. I think I did most of the talking, unfortunately. But any words that Amber did get in to the conversation were so very encouraging! Encouragement is definitely one of her gifts. She has many, let me assure you, but encouragement is at the top on her list. I went to bed feeling so hopeful about what the Lord is doing and my future being in His hands. One thing that we did is we looked through the hymnal that was sitting on my kitchen counter. We were looking for songs for the ladies retreat (I'm helping with the music). She and I were pointing out our favorite hymns and we had so much fun singing them. Kind of silly, but really such a blessing to be singing these truths about God with a sister in the Lord who is so like-minded with you. Such a joy.
Blessing upon blessing. That is how I describe my life right now. My God has poured out His comfort, His peace and His love on me day after day. And He has used some sweet ladies in my life to be His instruments in many cases. Thank you Lord. Thank you for not forgetting about me. Thank you for loving a sinner like me. I am in no way deserving of the salvation I have from my sin. In NO way. But even on top of that you have poured out your lavish blessings on me. You have given me gifts that cannot have a price. They are valued far beyond any tag you could place on them. Please help me to see your hand in everything. Please help me to seek you earnestly and not value the gifts you have given me more than I value YOU! You, oh Lord are my very great reward! (Gen 15:1) Help me to seek you as a prize that is better than all others. Help me to be fully and completely satisfied in You.
October 18, 2006
So rude!
I have to tell this funny story on my sister. She's gonna kill me, but I don't care. Sunday we went to Kohl's so I could look for some jeans. I was trying on several pairs in several different sizes and lots of different styles. Every pair I tried on Danyel would give her input. I was done and I didn't find any I liked, so I put on the jeans that I own. The jeans I wore into the store. She took one look at them and said, "No way! I hate those! Those make you look terrible!"
I looked at her in disbelief and said, "You're kidding, right? These are MY jeans. I already own them." We both started laughing and she started apologizing. Not sure if I'll ever wear those jeans again!
I looked at her in disbelief and said, "You're kidding, right? These are MY jeans. I already own them." We both started laughing and she started apologizing. Not sure if I'll ever wear those jeans again!
Pictures, finally
Chris took lots of pictures of the kids this day that he had them. He graciously shared them with me. My babies! (they look innocent, don't they?)
All boy
Pumpkin patch with daddy
Poppa eating a corndog at the fair. Mmmm!
First Texas State Fair corndog
Mmmmooooooooooooo!
Fancy driving
Bonding with a billy goat
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